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April 20, 2005

Out of the Mouths of Babe Ruth Wannabees

Setting: Master Bedroom, 8:14 pm

Players: Drew and Porter, freshly bathed and clad in underwear and T-shirts, sprawl on bed with Daddy, clad in pj’s. Mom has just washed her face and brushed her teeth and put on her winter pajamas, due to the excessively frigid temperature required by the males in the house. With difficulty, Mom wedges her way onto a tiny corner of the bed between Drew and Porter.

Finn enters, showered, wearing only boxer briefs.

Dad: Finn, have you done your homework?

Finn: (nonchalantly) Not yet.

Dad: Go do it.

Finn: (dawdling) Okay.

Mom: (snuggling with Drew and Porter) You mean “Yes sir.”

Finn: Yes, sir.

Dad: Go on.

Porter: I’ve done my homework. I read “Henny Penny.”

Drew: I didn’t have homework.

Porter: No fair.

Finn: Dad, couldn’t you write an excuse?

Dad: For what?

Finn: For me not doing my homework.

Dad: And say what? That you had to play baseball and ride your bike and didn’t get to it?

Finn: Well, yeah.

Dad: No.

Finn: You could tell her I’ve had a lot of baseball practices lately, and games, and that’s made me be really busy.

Dad: Too busy to do your homework?

Finn: (nodding) Exactly!

Dad: No way.

Finn: Why not?

Dad: Do you think Mrs. Zither thinks baseball games are more important than homework?

Mom: Do you think we think baseball games are more important than homework?

Finn: Daddy does.

Dad: (reddening) I do not!

Finn: You’re just saying that because you want to stay married to Mom.

Dad: (very sternly) Son, go do your homework this minute.

(Mom buries her head in the twins’ hair and shakes with laughter.)

Finn exits.

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Posted by Anne Glamore @ 6:43 pm • Baseball, Frolic and Detour: Sports     add to kirtsy   Stumble it!

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2 Responses to “Out of the Mouths of Babe Ruth Wannabees”

  1. April 21st, 2005 at 7:57 pm, Andrea Says:

    I love your blog! A real joy to read.

    I found you from another blog… you said you had “retired”..lol and are now a sahm.

    I too am “retired”. No longer a good government employee with 2 fifteens and a forty-five. I am a SAHM…. it took me 2 yrs to be comfortable with even saying SAHM.

    Stop by my blog sometime and drop a comment!

  2. January 15th, 2007 at 7:17 pm, My Tiny Kingdom » Football Diaries - Part I Says:

    [...] I sure hope Bill can maintain his levelheadedness during football season. I’d hate for his baseball mindset to migrate into football season. Posted by Anne Glamore @ 2:35 pm   [...]

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    What I'm Reading


    I've never read any of his fiction, but his book about the craft of writing was awesome.

    Hey, I have a story in this book about how I'm not always the best mom. It's guaranteed to make you feel better about yourself, especially the part where I throw stuff at Finn.

    I'd heard a lot about this and enjoyed it, but not as much as one of my all-time faves:

    The Boys Are Loving


    I didn't think Porter would like this, but I was desperate for him to read something, so I shoved it at him and it was a WINNER.

    Hooray-- there's a sequel to the original Diary. The guys are snarfing it up.


    Porter finished all the Harry Potter books so I started him on A Wrinkle In Time, and he's enjoying it. I bought the whole set so he'd have plenty to read for the next few months.


    After finishing the Harry Potters, Drew turned to the Hardy Boys. He can't tell a story "in a nutshell," so I've heard all about the missing jalopy, and the red wig. Solve the mystery already!