Stumble it!
February 16, 2006
Shoot ‘Em Up!
I wasn’t much of a gun lover when I was a kid. As one of three sisters, we weren’t around guns very much, so I never developed an appreciation for them. I realize guns aren’t solely a manly thing; plenty of women enjoy firing off a round or two, sometimes while conducting other exhausting activities. Talk about multitasking.
Now that I have three boys and a husband who grew up hunting, BB guns have become somewhat of an obsession with the guys in my family, and Bill is happy to encourage them. During the last month they’ve bought a couple of guns and taken them out in the woods to shoot cans and paper targets.
Bill and the boys will leave, then several hours later they return, sweaty and excited, recounting the fabulous adventures they had tromping through the woods. Last weekend Drew claimed he saw a bird and “almost” hit it. I applauded his effort, although I’m glad he missed. I have no intention of cooking any birds, which the boys would certainly insist upon if they were to actually shoot some and bring them home. That seems to be part of the hunter-gatherer gene. Anyway, I can’t imagine that they’d eat them, even if I paired them with a friendly food and served up “Macaroni and Crow” or “Sparrow Spaghetti.”
Because I haven’t seen any results of their outings, the whole shooting thing has been a rather abstract concept to me. Two things happened in the last couple of days, however, that made me realize my children are firing real guns with actual bullets. First, on the way to church one night, the twins were discussing what they want to be when they grow up. Drew’s answer hasn’t changed in months: an artist. Porter usually wants to be an astronaut, but this time his answer startled me.
“I want to be a sniper,” he said nonchalantly, looking out the window.
“Oh,” I said, surprised. “Have you told anyone else that?”
“I wrote it in my journal today at school,” Porter said. “Miss Hunter asked me if I knew what a sniper was and I told her it was a man who gets on top of a high building with a gun and shoots bad people.”
So much for my plan to change his career path before anyone else could find out about it.
But I realized he’s already well on his way toward realizing his dream when I was cleaning out his pants pockets before I washed them:
Behold: two bullets sitting innocently with the usual marbles, coins, hickory nut and Legos.
Porter Glamore: future sniper?
Posted by Anne Glamore @ 12:40 pm • Boys: Demented & Dangerous, I Birthed 'Em, Now What? Stumble it!
Stumble it!
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January 19th, 2007 at 6:16 pm, My Tiny Kingdom » Things I Wish I Hadn’t Said Says:
[...] Scene: I am driving Finn to drum lessons. All four of us are piled in the van heading down the interstate at the height of rush hour. Porter, who wants to be a sniper but who would be much better suited to a career as a local spokesperson for the local NPR affiliate, begins his customary running commentary. [...]