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December 6, 2006
Anne Glamore’s Roundup of Little-Known Holiday Songs
Last weekend I boarded the Christmas decoration express determined not to disembark until the house was completely festive. I thought that since I hadn’t really undecorated last year my job would be somewhat easier but that’s never the case.
My OCD tendencies are most evident in the lighting of the tree, which must be done according to exact specifications. I don’t tolerate any willy-nilly draping of lights in a haphazard manner. Strings of tiny white lights must be painstakingly wrapped around each individual tree branch, from the trunk outward to the edge of the limb. Using fewer than 2000 lights makes for a very dull tree. Long ago Bill and I agreed that he would purchase and set up the tree and I would put on the lights while he dropped in regularly to ooh and ahh. It’s been a fantastic marital compromise.
If done correctly, the lighting of the tree takes hours, during which we play holiday CDs and consume mass quantities of hot chocolate and eggnog. I started with the classic CDs like The Nutcracker
As the lighting continued, I moved through the pile of CDs, which is why I was drinking wine and listening to Destiny’s Child’s 8 Days of Christmas
Or maybe Bill should have been the one drinking. He came to check on the progress of the lights and heard me singing, “On the eighth day of Christmas my baby gave to me, a pair of Chloe shades and a diamond belly ring” and was astounded that such lyrics exist on a Christmas album.
He went to bed before I got to the good stuff, though. Beyonce and the girls have a song called “Winter Paradise” that first caught my attention because it seems to be sampling PM Dawn’s “Looking Through Patient Eyes,” which has a damn fine melody. Then I listened to some of the words:
It’s the feeling of God, it’s that good ole eggnog
It’s the blessed faces, it’s them happy babies
It’s the family prayer, it’s that new V.S. underwear
No. Just no. A Christmas song can talk about God and blessings, or it can talk about eggnog and panties, but it must choose either sex or religion and stick to it. When these topics are combined in one holiday song the effect is jarring, no matter how soothing the melody. “Winter Paradise” robbed me of any remaining Christmas spirit so I went to bed with my job nearly complete.
Sunday the lighting continued and I moved on to Barenaked for the Holidays
The highlight of the CD, for us at least, was the cover of “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”, a song which compels people of a certain generation to sing each line in the varying styles of stars of the 80s, including Boy George, Sting, Simon LeBon and George Michael.
I was just letting out a raspy “Tonight thank God it’s them instead of you” in the manner of Bono when Finn came in. He’d never heard the song before. Seizing a powerful opportunity for expanding his education in music history and charity singles, we headed for YouTube and watched the original video while I pointed out influential entertainers such as Bananarama, Spandau Ballet and Jody Watley.
Finn was skeptical of my insistence that Boy George and Culture Club were popular at the time, and showing him the “Karma Chameleon” video did not advance my case.
Although I ended up with a beautifully lit tree, I now have a son who, for the first time, is questioning my musical teachings. I didn’t disclose that in high school I styled my hair like one of the Bananarama girls and wore the same magenta day-glo lipstick as Jody Watley.
I have to retain some credibility.
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December 6th, 2006 at 3:18 pm, KLee Says:
Oh, yeah! I had the single of “Do They Know It’s Christmas” back in the day because I was a major Duran Duran freak. (Still have their albums, including the most recent ones…)and even sported the brown fedora for a while.
I can understand Finn’s reluctance to buy into the fact that Boy George was actually popular at one time. Looking at him today, I often wonder what were we all thinking? Finn was just probably thinking that Boy George had to put “boy” in there for gender clarification, since it wasn’t obvious at a glance.
I have a holiday mix CD that my husband grabbed me from work that’s got some interesting tunes on it. I’ll be happy to make you a copy if you’re interested. Send me an email if you want the track list.
December 6th, 2006 at 3:58 pm, halloweenlover Says:
That is my favorite Christmas cd! The Hanukkah song makes me cry each and every time.
I can’t believe how young Sting and Phil Collins look in that video! Unbelievable! They were such babies!
December 6th, 2006 at 6:35 pm, liz Says:
I love Barenaked for the Holidays. And you are just sooo right about that video.
December 6th, 2006 at 7:30 pm, talentedgirl Says:
May I suggest Harry Connick Jr’s Christmas. Great, jazzy and fun.
Also Sarah MacLachlan has a great new Christmas cd out, and she does a cover of Joni Mitchell’s “River”. Okay not really tree trimming mood setting, but lovely just the same.
December 6th, 2006 at 7:30 pm, talentedgirl Says:
May I suggest Harry Connick Jr’s Christmas. Great, jazzy and fun.
Also Sarah MacLachlan has a great new Christmas cd out, and she does a cover of Joni Mitchell’s “River”. Okay not really tree trimming mood setting, but lovely just the same.
December 7th, 2006 at 12:32 am, Katrina Says:
I watched the video, but I only had eyes for Sting.
December 7th, 2006 at 6:33 am, bluepaintred Says:
and teh picture of the tree is where?
December 7th, 2006 at 11:48 am, Leeny Says:
Anne, I just ordered the Alabama Christmas cd because of you. I read the reviews online and they were all great. Can’t wait to get it! Thanks!
December 8th, 2006 at 12:32 am, Dana Says:
At least you only had Bananarama hair and Jody Watley lipstick! When Karma Chameleon was out, I…I…I spent weeks dressed like Boy George. I had multiple-braided hair with ribbons and shiny things woven in. I wore shirts that came to my knees with goofy vests over the top. I wanted to *be* Boy George. I was 13.
I also had a very patient mother!
December 10th, 2006 at 8:18 pm, Linda Says:
I can’t visualize how you string lights. Can you post a picture of the tree with some close-ups of the branches?
December 10th, 2006 at 10:42 pm, Loren Says:
If you want your boys to be the next Hanson, then I suggest finding a copy of their christmas album ;). It’s called Snowed In. It’s actually my mom’s favorite christmas CD.
December 12th, 2006 at 6:53 am, Shan Says:
I know what you mean about the tree, I got up early to put the lights on because I want them done a certain way - mine go round and round, starting as close to the trunk as possible all the way up and down and then going out a little further each time I go up and down the tree.
I was in the middle of this process this weekend, and my husband yelled down the stairs for me to say something, apparently I had gotten up so early, my german sheperd (who feels he needs to “guard” me all the time) was unaware of my whereabouts and had been head-butting all the upstairs doors to find me. Once I shouted, Clyde (the shepherd not my husband) found me and took up his post for the day.
For music, I like the Nutcracker, played it all weekend - but I may have to investigate some other options. Thanks for the suggestions and keep the funny posts coming!
December 12th, 2006 at 9:05 am, taylor Says:
I can never get over that “Tonight thank God it’s them instead of you” line. It just grates on me. While it’s fine to be thankful that you aren’t suffering, why thank God that someone else *is*?
Maybe I’m too sensitive.
December 10th, 2007 at 9:30 am, My Tiny Kingdom » Gutter or Stars? Says:
[...] year ago in My Tiny Kingdom: Anne Glamore’s Roundup of Little-Known Holiday Songs Posted by Anne Glamore @ 9:30 am • Those Crazy Kids, Parenting, I Birthed ‘Em, Now What?, [...]
December 8th, 2008 at 9:39 am, My Tiny Kingdom » La La La La Says:
[...] ***************** Two years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: Anne Glamore’s Roundup of Little -Known Holiday Songs [...]