January 22, 2007

Virtual Book Club Meeting #7

It’s been ages since I hosted book club. I apologize. I’ll get right to it, because I’ve read some wonderful books recently. (If you’ve missed the last meeting, click on the “Book Reviews” tag at the top of this post and you can see them all. Don’t neglect the comments; readers always have great suggestions. None of my posts from iVillage days have comments because the comments stayed with iVillage, so if you recommended a book then you may want to re-suggest it here.)

I. BOOK CLUBBY BOOKS

I’ve read three books recently that are very different, but which were each captivating in their own way. Name All the Animals: A Memoir by Alison Smith is a memoir, and it’s a devastating one. The author lost her brother in an accident when she was fifteen and he was eighteen. The accident happens quickly; the story is about her family’s struggles after his death, and her memories of their childhood. Smith’s writing is simple and pure, and she depicts details that resonate perfectly, especially with those of us who are roughly her age and remember the songs (Billy Idol’s “White Wedding”) and fashions she recounts. If you’ve lost someone close to you (and perhaps if you haven’t) her descriptions of her thoughts and actions in the aftermath of Roy’s death will seem eerily familiar. I stayed up way too late reading this book and had to hold my eyeballs open with my fingers during Drew’s basketball game the next day.

If I were forced at gunpoint to summarize The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova in just one sentence, I’d have to say, “It’s a thinking person’s DaVinci Code, with librarians and Dracula.” But really, that wouldn’t do the book justice at all. It’s DaVinci Code- like only in that it involves a search that takes the protagonists all over Europe, they puzzle over clues and strange languages and a couple of weapons are employed here and there. The structure of the book could be confusing but mostly works well; the narrator tells the story, which sometimes quotes her father’s stories to her and then his letters to her once he disappears. The tale is convoluted yet entertaining.

I found myself reading each chapter twice, not only to ensure that I had all the characters and events straight, but to prolong the delight of reading the book. There are a couple of points at which the search for Dracula (the historical figure, not the Bela Lugosi blood-sucker you are picturing) becomes overdramatic, but it’s well worth buying into the story.

Erik Larson’s The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America reads like a novel, but in fact it’s based on actual events. At the same time Chicago was preparing to host the 1893 World’s Fair, young women and children began disappearing from Chicago. Larson writes about the men determined to make the Fair a success, and focuses on one man in particular, whose view of success was more macabre. Yes, it’s a book about architecture and a serial killer, subjects that would seem impossible to combine into one adventure, but Larson provides proof that it can be done, and well.

II. A PARENTING BOOK WORTH A LOOK

I read a book about addressing the ways having children can affect your marriage, and I intend to give it to Aunt Lulu, with a few caveats. Babyproofing Your Marriage: How to Laugh More, Argue Less, and Communicate Better as Your Family Grows imparts some valuable messages for those couples expecting a baby or having a hard time dealing with the changes children add to the marital relationship. The book makes several very good points: that both spouses have to sacrifice to raise a child, that everyone needs to hear words of affirmation and appreciation, that sex is just plain harder to get to when you’re working on little sleep and there are toddlers hanging around.

Bill and I have some experience in practical application of some of these principles. We went to a marriage retreat organized by our church long ago, and it was one of the most valuable weekends we’ve spent. The church also emphasized constant appreciation, and we’ve taken that to heart. We try to remember to say gooey things like, “Thanks for unloading the dishwasher” or “thank you for taking out the trash,” even though these are chores that must be done once, if not several times a day, just to acknowledge that we noticed that the other person did something for the good of the family.

At the retreat we spent a whole day discussing sex. My take-away was that not every rendezvous has to be a gourmet dinner. Sometimes a quick Happy Meal is enough, and sometimes you only have enough energy for a Chicken McNugget, or even one fry. (I’m really hoping you can read between the lines here and fill in the corresponding actions for each food).

Remember that Kenny Rogers song “Daytime Friends” that goes:

Daytime friends and nighttime lovers,
Hoping no one else discovers
Where they go, what they do,
In their secret hideaway

Those lovers were either childless or empty nesters. If you’re going to do the gourmet dinner, you and your husband should try being nighttime friends and daytime lovers. No one else discovers where you go and what you do if you sit your children in front of videos that are otherwise strictly rationed and the turn the volume up loud. Don’t forget to lock the bedroom door!

The book does have some weaknesses. I was not the only reader to feel that the female authors were unfairly harsh in their depiction of the husbands in the book, who came across as lazy, sex-crazed sports-watching thugs. In fairness, I should note that the writers apparently met plenty of men who provided the numerous caveman quotes in the book, such as:

Women have been doing this for thousands of years. There have been centuries of human history where women have had a lot more children than we have, and they had to do a lot more work, churning the butter and washing clothes in the river. Why is she always complaining?

–Bobby, married 7 years, 1 kid.

How did Bobby get enough nookie to make a child, with an attitude like that? If I were giving him a Chicken McNugget, I might be tempted to pull his wanker right off.

III. BOOKS INTENDED FOR SMARTER READERS OR GENERATIONS Y AND Z

I tried to read two other books with less than stellar results. I’ve recently moved my website from TypePad to WordPress, and I bought WordPress 2 (Visual QuickStart Guide) to help me navigate the unfamiliar code. I alluded to this in my last post, and I’ll be mentioning it constantly in the future, but I’m about to be forty years old. Technically, this makes me a part of Generation X, but I’m almost a Baby Boomer.

I remember filmstrips in classrooms. I got contacts in fifth grade– hard lenses, that scraped against your eyeballs when they weren’t rolling back in your head near your brain somewhere. I remember when having a pushbutton phone was a big deal. Our first VCR was the size of a small suitcase. To make mix tapes, we sat with our tape recorders near the radio and waited for our favorite songs to come on, then carefully pushed the “Play” and “Record” buttons together. That’s a long way of saying that none of the coding or texting or plugins and so forth come naturally to me. I don’t understand what this means: “Use your favorite text editor to open the theme template file in which you want to display the feeds.” I don’t have a favorite text editor and in fact am not sure what a text editor is, although I probably use one.

Similarly, I use photos in my blog, and wanted to try fixing some of them without spending the money on Photoshop. I downloaded and installed GIMP, then purchased Beginning GIMP: From Novice to Professional to try to use the program. So far I have succeeded in cropping one picture, and I have been unable to recreate that accomplishment again. My friend can perform plastic surgery on the people in her pictures, from whitening their teeth and deleting wrinkles to smoothing their skin. I would love to do cyber-surgery on my pictures. I think I’m going to recruit a Generation Y bag boy from Publix to show me the basics and explain it in English, not techno-speak, and I’ll be a lot better off. These are probably wonderful books and I’m just not savvy enough to make the most of them.

Sigh.

IV. DUSTY BOOKS WHICH I SHOULD HAVE READ BUT HAVE NOT

I’m really proud that I made it through Memoirs of a Geisha: A Novel, and enjoyed it. That was probably the last unread dusty book I made it through thanks to your encouragement. I’ve had a copy of East of Eden (Oprah’s Book Club) for ages, and I can’t seem to get excited about it. In fact, I have yet to make it past the third page. If you love it, please comment and inspire me to read it. I feel like there’s a hole in my education due to my failure to read this. Am I right, or should I take a pass?

V. CONCLUSION OF THE MEETING

Whoa– I can’t believe we drank all that wine! It must be time to go. I’m taking suggestions on books to read in all my “spare time.”

**Click on the “Book Reviews” tag at the end of this post to read the six other Virtual Book Club Meetings!

Posted by Anne Glamore @ 10:15 pm • Book Reviews, Dot Com Bah- Computer Hell

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29 Responses to “Virtual Book Club Meeting #7”

January 22nd, 2007 at 10:38 pm, Shawn Says:

I enjoyed The Devil in the White City myself this summer. I was happy to learn so much about the World’s Fair, it did sound amazing for the time. Definitely read East of Eden. Steinbeck is worth it.

Go you learning all the computer thingys!
January 22nd, 2007 at 11:01 pm, KLee Says:

When, exactly, do you have time to do mundane stuff like eat, and breathe? Slow down, woman! You’re making me motionsick!

I’ve long loved “East of Eden.” It’s all the things that “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” was purported to be in junior high, but wasn’t. It’s a very defined delve into a world of the forbidden and unspoken-of desires. It does start off slow, but if you can make it through the first chapter, I think you may enjoy it. This dates to Anne Rice’s days before the whole vampire fetish and her reawakened interest in the Christian faith.
January 22nd, 2007 at 11:04 pm, KLee Says:

Wait a minute — East of Eden? Must be a blonde thing — that sex book was “EXIT to Eden.” Sorry! You may now return to your regularly scheduled heartbeat.

Why, yes — I *am* a total doofus!
January 23rd, 2007 at 10:02 am, amanda Says:

this is great! i read name all the animals (makes me angry to think about it because i lent it to someone and never got it back!) but what a great, honest, sad account! and i also read devil in the white city and was captivated. if i might suggest a “companion book” to DITWC…the alienist by caleb carr. it’s fiction and takes place in new york around the same time as “devil.” it’s compulsively readable and invokes the history of the chicago serial killer as a rag tag team of a new york phsychologist, newspaper reporter, detectives, etc team up to catch a copy-cat. (ha, sounds like a movie trailer, and actually that was what i was thinking as i read it was “this would make a great movie!”) i like your taste in books, i’ll have to look into your other recommendations!
January 23rd, 2007 at 10:32 am, Karin Says:

Loved “Name All the Animals”-my sister was her classmate at the all girls Catholic high school(I was 2 years ahead)-it was strangely about my life, in that I knew exactly what/who she was writing about…
I just read Joan Didion’s “The Year of Magical Thinking”. Very powerful, wonderfully written account of the aftermath of her husband’s sudden death. I was taken by her attempt to understand her grief by reading what others wrote about theirs, as if it would somehow give her a map to navigate by.
Now I’m starting a collection of short stories by Joyce Carol Oates (a fav of mine from way back) called “Small Avalanches and other stories”-a Christmas present from my husband. I find that short story collections are better for reading during the semester when my work/child leaves precious little “me time”….
January 23rd, 2007 at 11:13 am, Tina Rodriguez Says:

I recently read “The Secret Life of Bees” by Sue Monk Kidd. I loved this book so much. I don’t know if you have read this book, but I recommended it. I will look into reading The Historian and East of Eden. If you get around to reading before me, please post us a note. I love to hear what you think of it.

Adieu
January 23rd, 2007 at 1:17 pm, Penny allison Says:

YES
January 23rd, 2007 at 1:18 pm, Penny allison Says:

Yes, read East of Eden. It takes “getting into,” but is well worth it.
Love your blog!!!
January 23rd, 2007 at 1:43 pm, Laura Says:

I’ll have to check out White City- sounds like it’s right up my alley. My group read “March” a couple of months ago- it’s the story of what Mr. March,the father, was up to during Little Women- a really interesting account of one idealist’s experience during the civil war, plus it made me want to read Little Women again. Not that I *did*, but I felt brainy just wanting to…

I’m also pushing Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama. No matter your politics, it’s a great story of his experiences growing up in Hawaii, East Asia, and the US.
January 23rd, 2007 at 3:13 pm, Lauren Says:

Funny that you mentioned East of Eden. I made a trip to the library yesterday to pick up some books, and East of Eden was one of the ones I wanted to look in to. I confess, when I saw that it was about 1000 pages (not really, but long) I left it on the shelf. I do want to read it, but will have to muster up the strength.

Ditto on the lady who suggested Secret Life of Bees. One of my favorites.

In my book club, we just read The Time Traveler’s Wife. I’ve added it to my list of favorites. I loved it, although I think a couple in my group had trouble with it. For the first quarter or so of the book, you won’t have a clue what’s going on, although it’s still fascinating, and such an original premise. Stick with it, and you probably won’t be able to put it down.

It’s my turn to chose the next book my group reads, and I think I’m going with Daughter of Fortune by Isabelle Allende. Have you read it?
January 23rd, 2007 at 4:17 pm, Shell Says:

I thoroughly enjoyed The Historian, but it does require dedication to making sure you get the details down (the switching narrative was a challenge at times). Much, much better than that DaVinci thing.

A couple I would recommend reading (if you haven’t already) include: A Girl Named Zippy & She Got Up Off the Couch, by Haven Kimball. Her ability to capture a childhood perspective is quite good and, despite living in near poverty, you never get the sense that Zippy actually comprehends that in her childhood. If you were ever a kid who marched to the beat of her own drummer or have a kid that does, you’ll enjoy these memoirs.

Also, reaching back to my English major days, I just re-read Excellent Women by Barbara Pym. It’s not very long, but as someone who used to live in the UK, it perfectly describes one woman’s life.
January 23rd, 2007 at 5:24 pm, Jen Says:

I tend to read more simple books when not involved in a book club. I just finished Sandra Brown’s White Hot, and it was fun. Before that it was David Baldacci’s Camel Club, also brain candy.

My all time favorites are Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander series. I did read it for a book club, which was helpful because there are so many characters and so much history that it can get a bit confusing. It’s an entertaining combination of time travel, historical fiction, and romance. There are 6 books in the series.

I really enjoyed The Time Traveler’s Wife, The Secret Life of Bees, The Dive From Clausen’s Pier, Life of Pi, and all of the ones that come us as “People who read these also bought….” list on Amazon from any of those.

I am impressed with your computer skills! I have no idea what any of those terms mean.

And thanks for the parenting book tip! I’m all about everyone getting along and pitching in their fair share.

Jen
January 23rd, 2007 at 6:30 pm, Carey Says:

“East of Eden” makes my list of top ten favorite books EVER — give it a chance, is all I’m sayin’.

I too enjoyed “The Historian” and “Devil in the White City.” The author of DITWC has a new book I keep looking at, as it sits on my husband’s nightstand, but haven’t read — maybe I’ll usurp it later tonight.

If you liked “The Historian” try “The Shadow of the Wind” by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. Shadow is an interesting and well-written read for those who like a little mystery in their books.
January 23rd, 2007 at 7:57 pm, Karin Blue Says:

(I added Blue to my name since there seems to be 2 Karins commenting.)Anne, thank you for starting this book club, there are so many new books being published that it is hard to keep up with them. I am looking forward to the “Historian”. “The Secret Life of Bees” is wonderful, and I enjoyed “Life of Pi”. One of my favorites is Orhan Pamuk’s “Snow”. I really liked Sue Miller’s “The Good Mother”, and “While I was Gone”.
January 23rd, 2007 at 8:17 pm, liz Says:

East of Eden is a great book. Really fabulous.

However, I didn’t get jazzed about reading it until after I’d seen the movie a couple of times.
January 23rd, 2007 at 8:59 pm, Mocha Says:

Devil in White City was a fascinating read that I somehow devoured in just under 5 hours because I couldn’t put it down.

Just so you know, I came here from Sarah and The Goon Squad, but I’ve been LOOKING for you for three weeks now since Belinda from NinjaPoodles said, “Anne Glamour. You MUST find her. You MUST read her.”

She didn’t tell me I’d adore you so quickly.
January 23rd, 2007 at 10:58 pm, Karyn Says:

I just finished reading “The Boy In The Striped Pajamas”. It is a tight, polished story that just carries you right along through it, but leaves you drained; it is heavy stuff. Excellent, but heavy.

Um… yeah. I haven’t read any of the books you talk about here. I should do that. Hm. I’ve never been in a book club before. Please don’t kick me out if I did this wrong.
January 24th, 2007 at 1:05 am, tiff Says:

My mom is a book snob too. In fact I got her a tshirt that says “book snob” on it from Jonathan Benton. She gave me East of Eden last year and like you, it took me forever to actually start it and get into it, but I ended up not being able to put it down. She also just gave me In the Company of the Courtesan by Sarah Dunant which I most recently enjoyed- great historical fiction set in Venice in the 1500’s. Right now I am reading The Blessing of the Skinned Knee for a parenting group at church. The author uses Jewish teachings as a basis for her parenting strategy and although we are not Jewish, the principles apply to any faith and I think it’s great so far.
January 24th, 2007 at 8:46 am, mtwm Says:

Yea, I’m kind of like Karyn- haven’t read these books, not in a book club either. But I love to read- I just like the light, fiction, love story types- easy reads and you don’t have to think much! So can’t comment on the book clubs- but I could recommend some no thinking type books
January 24th, 2007 at 11:54 am, Emily Says:

As a mother of boys, twin boys at that, you must read East of Eden. It is so very much a story of mothers and fathers and sons. There is even a set of twin brothers. And Steinbeck is slow reading at first, has never been my favorite for that reason (absolutely TRUDGED through Grapes of Wrath in high school) but this one is pure gold. You know how you raise all of your kids the same, but they all turn out differently? How they can have the same genetic material and roughly the same environment, and yet they make different choices? It’s one of the mysteries of life, and it’s a big theme in this book. You will walk away with so much to think about. Read it!
January 24th, 2007 at 1:50 pm, jeni Says:

Nice choices! I hated Memoirs of a Geisha (seemed so obviously written by a white male), but I know ehy a lot of people liked it.

I have been reading (and loving) Margaret Atwood (esp. Lady Oracle, The Blind Assassin, and The Handmaid’s Tale). She is just so… sharp.

I also liked Saint Maybe by Ann Tyler, who is funny and devastating at the same time. I can’t remember if you ever read Middlesex by Eugene Stephanides, but that one was good, too. Very funny.

Oh and the Harry Potter books, of course. And a million others; I read way too much. If you like mystery/crime novels, I have an author I think you’d really like, but I won’t talk about him here since it seems like your readers are classier than me.

What other parenting books do you recommend, oh wise oracle? (Is it bad that I’m using you as my parenting model?)
January 24th, 2007 at 8:44 pm, Ann Kroeker Says:

Man! My nighstand may collapse under the weight of these excellent suggestions.

You’ve all got me seriously considering East of Eden, and I’m interested to see someone suggest Margaret Atwood. Just two days ago I picked up a used copy. And someone on the comments mentioned A Girl Named Zippy–loved it. It really was one of those books where I laughed, I cried, and it became a part of me.
January 24th, 2007 at 8:44 pm, Ann Kroeker Says:

Forgot to include the Atwood title: The Handmaid’s Tale.
January 25th, 2007 at 9:13 am, Clearlykels Says:

Ummm– I have tried to read East of Eden soooo many times– yet it is still on the bookshelf. However, I am in the girl who is in the middle of no less than 4 books currently. I just need to finish some of them.
January 25th, 2007 at 9:54 am, denise Says:

In your iVillage days, I suggested “The Time Traveller’s Wife” - which I do believe that you read. Or at least I think you mentioned reading it.

Anyway, they are getting ready to make it into a movie (due out in 2008).

New books to suggest:
“The Memory Keeper’s Daughter” - haunting story about a man giving a child up without his wife’s knowledge
“The Glass Castle” - a disturbing memoir, a-la-”Running with Scissors”-esque

As for “East of Eden”, I too, have it on my bookshelf and have tried several times to read it. Upon looking at it, last time I made it to page 243 (of 601!). I actually really did/do like the story, but it is a super-heavy book that I can’t take with me when I travel…therefore it never gets read! I’ll vow to read it if you do!!!

PS - You live in Birmingham, right? I am moving there in June and actually heading up there this weekend to check out the city (I’ve never been there before). If you have any recommendations of “must do’s” or “must see’s” - send them my way!

Denise

Enjoy!
January 25th, 2007 at 10:27 pm, Ricardo Says:

The author “Shell” mentioned is actually spelled Haven Kimmel,
and I will vouch for her books. Excellent, witty, touching.
My last fave was “The Omnivore’s Dilemma” by Michael Pollan.
Non-fiction, it follows food such as corn and beef from farm to your table, and the inherent problems in raising each in the industrial vs. organic agricultural systems. Sounds dull, but it is not, very entertaining, and very educational.
February 5th, 2007 at 11:02 pm, Kristen Says:

Anne, East of Eden is one of my all time favorites - believe me, it’s worth the read.
March 9th, 2007 at 5:18 pm, My Tiny Kingdom » Writer’s Conference Links Says:

[...] Book Reviews Virtual Book Club Meeting # 7 [...]
March 12th, 2007 at 9:42 pm, My Tiny Kingdom » Schickel Insults Blogs; Melee Ensues Says:

[...] A critic may be allowed to criticize, but I’d be compromising myself if I panned books in my Book Reviews without reading them first. [...]