Stumble it!
March 8, 2007
Why There’s No Post Today
Events of yesterday damn near killed me. Thank God for gin and tonic.
Car wouldn’t start, so late for Bible Study.
66% of boys in trouble, ranging from mild to severe.
Sudden growth spurt resulting in dearth of pants that fit; sent boys to school in flood pants.
Upcoming speech. Humongous pimple threatening to reveal itself, spoiling my image as witty,artsy, acne-free blogger at event.
Twinsanity happily playing Science Lab under house. Me so pleased they were being creative although they used copious amounts of baking soda and vinegar and drained my bottle of Tabasco. Later the strong smell of gasoline alerted me to fact they were but a step away from playing with fire and the imminent explosion they were enthusiatically planning was not wishful thinking.
Dog from hell (who, admittedly, has been improving,) pissed on den carpet.
Lectured duo on dangers of gasoline and confirmed that I had given that speech in the past and where the hell did they get gasoline anyway, burned broccoli while doing so. Shame, was only vegetable had managed to cook all week.
Posted by Anne Glamore @ 9:16 am • Animal Stunts - Pets, Boys: Demented & Dangerous, Feeling Crotchety, I Birthed 'Em, Now What? Stumble it!
Stumble it!
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March 8th, 2007 at 10:43 am, Lauren Says:
Good luck at the writers’ conference!
March 8th, 2007 at 1:37 pm, Melissa Says:
Your Tiny Kingdom almost went up in flames!! Scary - I remember a similar “experiment” my older brother and I conducted in the bushes in front of our Grandmothers house when we were 7 (him) and 5 (me). We tried to see if we could burn matches while in the carton…um. Fire Department. Smoke. Flames. New paint for Grandma’s house. Grounded for-ev-er.
We look back now and laugh - though I’m sure Mom had to dye her hair after that to cover the grey!
March 8th, 2007 at 2:25 pm, Leeny Says:
Oh, that’s scary with the gasoline! Downright scary!
March 8th, 2007 at 2:32 pm, KLee Says:
What, no napalm? No stitches? How bad a day could it have been if one of the Glamore boys didn’t have to get their flesh pierced by needle and thread?
No, I’m kidding. I’m glad that you managed to catch the boys before the gas was actually, you know — LIT, or anything. What were they thinking?! I’ll bet they’re grounded until they’re thirty.
Glad you are all in one piece, and love and hugs to a poor, stressed-out mama!
March 8th, 2007 at 4:03 pm, Anne Glamore Says:
What they were thinking, apparently, was that although I’d given them the “don’t play with gasoline” talk, that was a long time ago when they were much younger. Now that they’re eight, they figured they were qualified to use it because they weren’t playing with it; they were employing it in a scientific manner.
March 9th, 2007 at 7:10 am, The Serious Shopper Says:
OK, you win! By the way, Mojito’s work nicely too.
March 9th, 2007 at 9:52 am, PeanutButtersMum Says:
LOL! Sorry, but I have to laugh! I love this last paragraph the best:
“Lectured duo on dangers of gasoline and confirmed that I had given that speech in the past and where the hell did they get gasoline anyway, burned broccoli while doing so. Shame, was only vegetable had managed to cook all week. ”
How many of us can say all of that in one paragraph and have it ring true??!!
March 9th, 2007 at 9:59 am, Jeanne Says:
Yikes! I have not had to give the “don’t play with gasoline” talk to my girls…
Glad things at the Glamore household did not go up in smoke! And that there was a supply of G&T in the house for you. Hang in there!
March 9th, 2007 at 10:32 am, lake lurker Says:
Anne- Sorry to inform you, but those twins are right on track with human male development.When I was 8 or 9 my friend assisted me with my big time chemistry set down in the basement.After creating noxious fumes, we decided to build a fire in the crawl space of my parents home.I remember sirens,water hoses,screams,and sore ass.If you want to know what’s next, let me know.
March 9th, 2007 at 11:33 am, Karin B Says:
I would have the boys join the scouts. They will learn about fire safety among other very useful skills there.
I laughed about the “dog from hell”. We had a rescue cat from hell, who peed on our down comforter although he was “fixed”. After loving him, feeding him, and expensive vet bills, he decided to take a hike never to return….
March 9th, 2007 at 5:43 pm, Jennifer Says:
If it’s any comfort, I was in the back row of your session, and I couldn’t see any pimples. Hell, at my age, I could barely see the screen! I enjoyed your session and appreciated the tip about buying my domain name. I am so computer illiterate I didn’t know that was an option!
March 9th, 2007 at 9:35 pm, Kendra Says:
I just found your site. The Big Guy and I read your stuff for about 30 minutes. We were both dying! The sex talk, I was speechless. I also have a dog that is excellent at pissing all over my house, running the neighborhood and shitting on command. If it wasn’t for the fact that we stud him for $ he would be on the “farm”. I will check in frequently, I haven’t laughed like that in a while.
March 9th, 2007 at 10:49 pm, Busy Mom Says:
My grandfather taught at BSC, I spent many years running around that campus as a kid.
March 9th, 2007 at 11:57 pm, Suburban Turmoil Says:
Good luck with the speech! I know you’ll be a huge hit.
Hope better days are just around the corner.
March 10th, 2007 at 7:18 am, Antique Mommy Says:
Sounds like you were having a Calgon Take Me Away moment. Is there anything that smells worse that burnt broccoli? Mabe the smell of dog pee will cover it up.
March 10th, 2007 at 8:13 am, Lin Haraway (BSC '81) Says:
I thoroughly enjoyed your talk yesterday at BSC. It was the only one in which I didn’t feel like either leaving, sleeping, or standing up and saying to the person behind me, “Get over yourself.” One woman’s “question” (Read: play for attention to whatever platform or issue she had niggling her psyche that day) was,”I can’t get published because I am a woman.”
I will not be attending today. Today I will plant flowers in the botanical graveyard at the office. It is time to remove the note on the map to the office that says, “Our office is the small one right in the middle of the long line of red brick buildings. There are dead plants in front of the sign.”
No, I have not purchased my domain name. Now,someone already has it. I could do coffeeiv.net or coffeeiv.org. Hey, maybe if I were coffeeiv.org I could qualify for non-profit and people would send me money to fund my caffeine addiction!
Oh,dear. I am blogging again. I gave it up for Lent because I started to forget which side of the bed I was supposed to be on(Hubs has a tendency to move into the center unless there is an obstruction.). Penance: go listen to that playwright from Boston at the conference who says we’re all going to hell and even though it’s hopeless,we should write about it and “waller”in our suffering. Hey, I’m a lefty, too, but I have hope. If there’s no hope, why write? Just open a vein.
March 10th, 2007 at 2:42 pm, Karyn Says:
Gasoline, burnt cruciferous veggies and dog pee. Jesus H. Christ , woman. No wonder you broke out the G&Ts! My NURSERY SCHOOL kid just learned about vingear and baking soda. I am going to live in fear for a long time. (I hasten to add that if you would MOVE NORTH we could knock back them thar G&Ts TOGETHER.) Hang tight. Mwah.
March 10th, 2007 at 3:16 pm, Blue Gal Says:
Please, please write up your smack down of Richard Schickel ASAP. It’s out there.
March 10th, 2007 at 7:52 pm, Bob Borson Says:
Your regular readers’ loss was our gain at the “Writing Today” conference. Thank you to introducing me to the brave new world (for me) of mommyblogging. So glad you spoke up in defense of Schickel’s blogger comments. Look forward to checking into your tiny kingdom in the future.
March 12th, 2007 at 9:38 am, Joy East of theKingdom Says:
Could the car not starting and the twins gasoline experiment be related? Hmmmmm…