May 23, 2007

Boring Blogger Has Career Day Envy

Getting a compliment from a sixth-grader is the highest form of flattery, so I was thrilled when a close friend’s daughter asked me to talk about writing at her school’s Career Day. Although I’ve never given this type of talk to twelve-year-olds before, I’ve done it in front of several adult audiences, and I figured I would be a huge hit with the preteen crowd.

I like to make sure I have a large film screen set up so everyone can see the screen well. I demonstrate how comments work, and how clicking on the name in a comment will take you to that person’s blog. I show them the back side of the blog where all the coding is and that generally draws a big response and much undeserved respect for my limited coding skills.

It’s also a cool touch to show the audience your stat program at the beginning of the talk so they can see how many readers have checked in, and then look again at the end of the presentation so they can see how many people clicked on the site while they were listening.

I figured I had it made. Internet, cool coding, funny stories, winning personality– I’d be the Career Day Star.

Things didn’t go exactly as I had planned. First, I’d assumed that the other speakers would have boring jobs. A lawyer (I’ve tried to tell my boys what I do in that job and make it interesting and that’s a losing battle), an investment banker, an accountant with a head for numbers and a personality to match.

Sadly for me, the other ~~contestants~~ speakers included representatives of the local NPR affiliate, a chef, an orthopedic surgeon, and a makeup consultant.

The NPR folks brought a microphone and Lord knows what else and let the kids stage a high-energy mayoral press conference. The pastry chef had mounds of fruit and melted chocolate and the students prepared chocolate-covered strawberries. The makeup consultant did a professional makeup application on one delighted sixth-grade girl, and handed samples of Chanel’s Chance perfume to everyone. Most thrillingly, the orthopedic surgeon showed clips of sports stars getting injured, then whipped out models of femurs and vertebrae and showed how he fixed the athletes. Blood, gore, sports– I never had a chance. Or a Chance.

Meanwhile, I was droning, “And after I’ve made sure I’ve used strong, vibrant words, I proofread again to take out all the extra commas that slow readers down.” Ugh.

It’s okay, really. I’d much rather concentrate on writing when I’m not practicing law. After all, I already spend a lot of time addressing blood and gore, though under less dramatic circumstances than the surgeon does. I interrogate my boys on a regular basis, so I have the art of the interview perfected at least as well as the talented folks at NPR. I’ve written plenty about my mad culinary skillz.
Next year I’m bringing sparklers and Pop Rocks for everyone!

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6 Responses to “Boring Blogger Has Career Day Envy”

May 23rd, 2007 at 10:23 am, Shell Says:

But you never know, Anne. For the little girl sitting in the back of the classroom who has no interest in radio, is allergic to sports, couldn’t cook if her life depended on it, and shies away from any kind of makeup…you might have been the bright spot in a dreary day.
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:40 pm, Karyn Says:

I tell you - your writer’s presentation would have resonated more with me than anything else.

Although I confess the chocolate strawberries would have had a certain tempting quality too.

So, okay, next year, bring snacks. Because… writers… need… to eat. Yeah. There you go.
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:24 pm, VHMom Says:

Oh geez, try being a technical writer for a research lab…..major zzzzz’s. My girls think it’s exciting because they know some details of the studies, but it’s not easy to pass along that thrill to somebody who can’t say “efficacy”. Oh well.

Shell was right, though, you hit a chord with SOMEBODY out there! Who knows, there might be, even as I type, a Tiny Kingdom neo-blogger out there writing about Career Day and the hot mom on the stage! Woo hoo! At least they weren’t rude to you, right??

Snacks = good….one handed snacks that you might eat while typing with the other, right?? Another skill that will last a lifetime!
May 24th, 2007 at 6:33 am, Reevesfarm Says:

Yikes, Well it could have been worse, they could have had Hannah Montanna, Emeril, and any one of the athletes the Dr. fixed up.

I did it a few months ago, as a web designer I was little nervous - “kids this is a hyperlink, blah blah blech.” When I saw one of the other parents, a cop with his K9 I knew I needed to step up my game or let his dog out of his car when he wasn’t looking. I brought out the big guns…Photoshoped pictures of my kids, their faces on famous people’s bodies set to music.

Gotcha copper, and your little dog too…..
May 24th, 2007 at 8:17 am, justashley Says:

I have the inside scoop, and my source tells me that you were a fabulous hit! I don’t think you could ever be boring - even if you tried really, really hard.
May 27th, 2007 at 3:31 am, Antique Mommy Says:

I wouldn’t even get near a room of 12-year-olds without Pop Rocks or at least a bag of Cheetos.