Stumble it!
August 21, 2007
Happy Anniversary: Your Son Is An Ass
Today is our anniversary. Bill and I are going to celebrate sometime, but not tonight because we have Open House (2 parents, 3 classrooms to visit) and Finn’s soccer practice. We’re trying to fit dinner, homework and baths in there, too.
This morning Bill left me a note on the counter that sent shivers up my spine.
Honey:
Happy anniversary! The bathroom tub leaked all night. It’s a big leak and filled up the whole tub. I wasn’t able to fix it (I know that surprises you!)
Your Hunk Of Love,
Bill
I managed the morning routine with the boys. With pre-teen Finn, I never know if I’m going to wake up to solicitous, shoulder-massaging Finn or a barbarian. This morning it was the latter.
I walked into the den to find Drew sobbing on the sofa. I went to the kitchen where Porter was eating a stack of waffles. He explained the reason for the weeping with anchorman-like precision.
Drew couldn’t read Bill’s note because it was in cursive. Finn refused to read it to him and snarled, “You need to learn to be a better reader if you’re going to survive third grade.”
Next Finn held the tortillas hostage and wouldn’t allow Drew to eat one for breakfast, saying, “I might need these to cook something important.”
I poured coffee for me and some for Porter, read Drew the note, handed him a tortilla, then called Finn in for a stern lecture on the value of brothers and not acting like a turd.
I resigned myself to being late for work again, and called the plumber, making sure to tell the company to tell him to call for directions. While I got dressed, the phone rang; the (male) plumber was lost.
As I was walking out the door, the tree service drove up to cut down some dead trees and limbs.
I made it to work and sent Bill an email in response:
Happy Anniversary, honey!
The leak is fixed. Who knew a small metal washer cost $132?
The tree men are going at it.
Your oldest son was an asshole this morning. Can you please talk to him? Call me for details.
I’ll handle the two 3rd grade teachers tonight at Open House and you do 6th grade.
Maybe I’ll see you there!
Love You Tons,
Anne
Who says life isn’t romantic after kids come along?
Posted by Anne Glamore @ 10:27 am • Googly Eyes: Make Love Not War, I Birthed 'Em, Now What? Stumble it!
Stumble it!
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August 21st, 2007 at 10:48 am, twinkie Says:
This is so realistic. Happy Aniversary! Hopefully it will get better from here.
August 21st, 2007 at 12:21 pm, Clearlykels Says:
You could keep all of the notes and make them into a book for your 50th anniversary when you’ll laugh even harder at the notes then than now.
Happy Anniversary!
August 21st, 2007 at 12:54 pm, Chris Says:
Happy Anniversary!!!
This reminds me of the country song ” Just another day in paradise”
Hope it gets better!
August 21st, 2007 at 1:12 pm, KLee Says:
What IS it about this age that turns normally sweet children into asshat crankypants? Mine’s doing it too, and I’m ready to sell her to a camel trader headed for Outer Wheretheheckistan.
If you find out the secret to handling them, let me know. I’ll pay you.
August 21st, 2007 at 1:13 pm, KLee Says:
Oh, and Happy Anniversary!
August 21st, 2007 at 1:41 pm, Kelly Says:
all I can say is hang in there with the prepubescent assholeism and eventually, when they reach about 20, they will realize that you have a little sense and treat you with respect. SOME respect. Not to say that you have a LOT of sense, that will come in the thirties, so I’m told. Hoping to get there without committing murder.
August 21st, 2007 at 3:19 pm, Charro Says:
Happy Anniversary to you both ! Sounds like ya’ll celebrate everyday with those precious (when they are sleeping ) boys! My husband and I will celebrate our 36th anniversary next Tuesday in the tiny kingdom and our oldest “asshole” (haha) just had his first baby last Thursday ( a boy )…. talk about precious !!! I have been reading his baby book and all the memories are coming back…. stitches and all. Enjoy each day !!!
August 21st, 2007 at 4:52 pm, Cassie Says:
At least your husband is showing up for open house. Mine left me high and dry, while there was a 5 foot banana running lose, and three grocery stores giving out free chit to my kids that they didn’t need. In the middle of the chaos I set, trying to figure out which child was which on the forms. I’ve never been so glad to get out of an open house in my life.
School starts on Thursday, there is a god!
August 21st, 2007 at 8:02 pm, Jodi Says:
I’m so romantic that I forgot our 9th wedding anniversary, and was planning to attend Bunco night instead. Needless to say, it has been held over my head for the last four years with no end in sight.
August 22nd, 2007 at 2:37 am, Elmo Says:
Poured some Coffee for Porter ? Hmmm.
August 22nd, 2007 at 6:34 am, Laura Says:
Yeah- I wondered about that too. Does Porter take his black, or does he prefer milk and sugar? Just wondering- mine prefer espresso and a Virginia Slim Lite 100’s first thing in the am…
August 22nd, 2007 at 7:44 am, Laura Says:
Happy Anniversary. I’m still LOL with your message . I hope you “had” a great day.
August 22nd, 2007 at 9:16 am, Traci Says:
It may not be romantic on the surface, but if you can still smile and laugh together after such a day, that’s true love.
Happy anniversary to you both.
August 22nd, 2007 at 9:29 am, lake lurker Says:
Happy Anniversary. How well I remember those Open Houses. One year I had a choice of 1st grade or the high school.At least I didn’t have to do Middle School, that’s a nightmare! Some days you get the good, the bad, and the ugly all rolled up in one.But before you know it they’re all grown up. Now it’s fun to remind my kids of some of the stunts they pulled and how we all survived.
August 22nd, 2007 at 10:16 am, MGH Says:
Long time lurker - had to inquire - work?? Did you go back to lawyering? Did I miss that? And happy anniversary…
August 22nd, 2007 at 10:17 am, MGH Says:
PS I only drink decaf coffee, which is a good thing, because my 2 year old LOVES it. We negotiate every morning over whose cup of coffee it actually is. He usually wins.
August 22nd, 2007 at 10:47 am, Karin Says:
Happy Anniversary! You may want to consider finding a third person to help during the open houses,when your boys are at the Jr.High (and highschool). You only have five minutes to rush from one subject to another. Inevitably, all the classes are all over the buildings.
August 22nd, 2007 at 1:31 pm, Shelley Says:
You and Bill sound like me and my hubby, except we don’t leave notes. We send e-mails - him to my work to remind me of stuff and me to my home where he is the only person to check our home e-mail. By the way, I have a third grader too. Good luck at Open House. Ours was last week.
August 23rd, 2007 at 12:35 am, Mamaluv Says:
Ooh, how romantic!! I read my husband this post. He likes that you keep the bar set nice and low. Too much pressure otherwise…
Happy Anniversary Anne!
August 23rd, 2007 at 8:31 am, Antique Mommy Says:
Ahh! These are the good old days and you will look back up on them fondly. IF you enjoy enough Pinot Grigio that is.
August 24th, 2007 at 7:59 am, My Tiny Kingdom » Weekly Wrapup: Stings, Soccer, Supper, Sexy Says:
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