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August 27, 2007
Wanted: Magical Antidote
I’m pissed at myself for quitting the Harry Potter series around Book 4, because I was cleaning Porter’s closet today and found this unsettling recipe:
I hope it will take the guys a while to actually cast their magic spell, because I don’t know what it will do or how to render it impotent, if it’s designed to make this a mom-free house.
Of course, if it’s a cure for odorous feet, I’ll join them in the search for a phoenix.I bet Miss Zoot or Katrina could help me, but the rest of you feel free to chime in. And if I disappear soon, well, blame it on the unicorn spittle.
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August 27th, 2007 at 7:17 pm, Susu Says:
Recipe for clean smelling feet: Place one dirty boy (!! - not what you’re thinking) in your whirlpool bath that has been filled one-half full with warm, sudsy water. As you turn on the jets, liberally sprinkle baking soda throughout the tub, taking care not to sprinkle on child. Have child slosh around in the warm, sudsy water as you read aloud to them from an approved AR book, recite math times table or encourage correct answers from a science/social studies study guide.
You’ve just accomplished many of the daily tasks in one - and if you had a soap ring around your tub, the soda and thrashing child has removed it!!
Repeat each night with each child, using clean water after each individual child, unless they don’t like to spray water/bubbles across your bathroom as mine do, in which case you can add two children at a time.
Also, the lovely AXE spray works on helping with the foot odor, using each morning before putting on socks.
Good luck and sweet smells from now on.
August 27th, 2007 at 9:18 pm, Lillie Says:
Anyway, I google searched for you and this is what I came up with.
“Grind the tail feather if a Phoenix with some Unicorn spittle.Take this mixture to the mouth of an old cave.Draw a circle on the ground and cast the mixture round it.Saying the magic words,’Dextray Sinistray Admey’.This spell causes a dragon to come,who will serve you for nne months.Be careful to pronounce the words correctly or it may turn the dragon against you.”
No anti-mom spell there, unless of course the dragon gets hungry.
August 27th, 2007 at 9:51 pm, Amy Says:
Shame on you for not finishing Harry Potter! We started reading the books aloud when my kids were in first and second grade and we’ve “grown” up with the series. My husband and I were sad at the end of the last book mostly because it marked the end of an era for us. No more discussions of the ending, theories of whether or not Dumbledore would come back from the dead - proof reading entries for the “write the last chapter of book seven” ah well, go get the books. I promise they are worth the time!
August 28th, 2007 at 8:18 am, Cassie Says:
If I had the magical cure for stinky feet, I’d have a million dollars. Soap, and baking soda don’t take our stinch away. I’m thinking about making him put Degree deodorant on his feet, and see if that helps.
August 28th, 2007 at 8:32 am, Jessie Says:
I hear that filling an old sock with baking soda and sticking one in each shoe you want to de-funk then leaving it sit overnight will at least make the shoes smell better, if not the feet.
As for the spell, it sounds familiar, but I’m not sure what it was for. Luckily they’ll have a hard time finding the ingredients, right?
August 28th, 2007 at 11:04 am, karyn Says:
Holy swollen foot.
I swear by the baking soda paste but my sister-in-law took it a step further, slathering honey over the beestings because apparently it has some mystical antibiotic properties.
Whatever it did, it took the sting out, and there was no swelling - and my 3 year old had stepped in a nest of yellowjackets which flew up his pant leg and stung him repeatedly.
And who knows, maybe it’ll sweeten those feet!
August 28th, 2007 at 11:06 am, karyn Says:
CRAP. That last comment was for a different post.
I swear, if that unicorn spittle and phoenix feather potion does anything for memory, can you fedex some on up chonder, because I clearly need it.
Love the HP series. Recipe is hilarious.
I’m so embarrassed.
August 28th, 2007 at 2:33 pm, momumo Says:
for foot odor - Listerine - seriously it kills the germs that cause bad breath… I may have to write a ‘funny’ post on how I used it as deodorant in a sheer panic once!
August 28th, 2007 at 4:13 pm, Laura K. Says:
Too funny! Let me know where he ends up finding the unicorn spittle…it’s been on my shopping list for weeks!
August 28th, 2007 at 8:00 pm, Katrina Says:
Tell them to be sure to keep grinding the phoenix tail feather until its extra fine. If it’s too coarse, the spell may backfire and cause the stinky feet in question to swell to twice their size and emit high pitched squeaks whenever they’re under pressure. (Not pleasant–it happened to me during pregnancy when a morning-sickness potion went horribly wrong…)
August 29th, 2007 at 7:01 am, Lynda Says:
Thankfully my two haven’t got to the REALLY stinky boy feet stage yet (although my 9 year old does seem to have the magical ability to convert woollen socks into some substance resembling cardboard) so I have no tips to offer. I came over here from Mir’s blog though and had to thank you for your suggested method of dealing with the “Mum!! He (insert latest outrage here)What are you going to do about it?” On your advice I will look pensive and tell them I will give them my considered views later by which time they will hopefully have gone back to dismantling the TV or some such other productive pastime. Genius, I say!!
August 29th, 2007 at 11:52 am, K Says:
I’m with Amy - finish the series. It is very entertaining. I’ve read the final book twice now. I’m amazed at anyone who has that much imagination and the talent to put it on paper.