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September 3, 2007
They Didn’t Analyze The Men So I Will
I’m tired of studies scrutinizing every action women take while raising their children, without giving equal time to the men.
Jenn linked to an article about a study that purported to be able to identify mothers at a greater risk for depression based on the way they cradle their babies. Like many such studies, the “scientists” looked only at mothers.
I’ve conducted my own research on the way fathers hold their children and what their body language conveys in various situations:
I am holding you by your twig and berries to confirm that you are male and not a sissy, because all this crying is making me wonder.
I refuse to hold you in my arms and cuddle you because you kept me up all night with your damn wailing.
I have discovered the essential element of childrearing and its name is chianti.
Or a brewski and Mexican food will do.
Business before babies, and “business” is to be broadly interpreted.
Although the football game does not begin for seven hours, I must mentally prepare myself now.
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September 3rd, 2007 at 12:56 pm, liz Says:
Bwahahahaha!
September 3rd, 2007 at 1:02 pm, jean Says:
Twig and berries? I had to read it a few times to get it. Sorry, I don’t get out much. My husband got it right away, which says alot.
September 3rd, 2007 at 4:26 pm, Susu Says:
Just how young is Bill? Should we refer to him as “Billy”?
September 3rd, 2007 at 5:51 pm, rima Says:
And he doesn’t seem at all stressed or depressed!
September 4th, 2007 at 3:07 am, jenny uk Says:
I had that pale blue baby carrier!
What about when men push the pushchair with one hand and stand off to one side? The manly way of buggy pushing!
September 4th, 2007 at 3:51 am, Lynda Says:
Hee! You have missed out the all important “holding-you-out-at-arms’-length-cos-there-is-stuff-DRIPPING- from-you-and-I’m-hoping-someone-else-will-deal-with-it!” stance.
September 4th, 2007 at 2:41 pm, Jennifer Says:
Oh how true! And I love Lynda’s comment! My husband does that carry-style all the time!
September 4th, 2007 at 3:59 pm, KLee Says:
We can also deduce from the empirical evidence that Bill *reeeeally* likes plaid. Specifically, dark plaids.
Also — you can tell in the last shot that Bill is in full football mode, because he’s carrying a child as one would a football. This leads me to believe that men are not all that great at multi-tasking. They tend to go all on-track-mind on us, and here is photographic proof.
September 4th, 2007 at 7:21 pm, Hillary Says:
Bill is totally hot in all those pictures! And I can’t believe how much the boys still look like they did in those wee bebe photos!
September 4th, 2007 at 9:49 pm, Mocha Says:
I’d like you to make this a series, please? Analyzing men and all the things they do. Couldja? Huh?
September 5th, 2007 at 1:29 pm, Speak Sexy Says:
ROFL, wow I haven’t laughed that hard in a while! My husband has always carried our daughter (now 10 months) facing outward like in the first picture. I’ve asked him why he doesn’t hold her facing in like I do. Maybe men aren’t as comfortable holding them? As a feminist I’m still searching for another reason for the strange baby-posturing.
September 6th, 2007 at 7:19 am, Mamaluv Says:
Haven’t stopped by the Tiny Kingdom in a little while - it’s great to be back. This is another really fantastic read, Anne!
Don’t worry; that shiny shine on your boots is not my saliva.
September 6th, 2007 at 5:14 pm, Penny Says:
My husband swears that men are hindered by their lack of hips - nothing to balance the baby on. He explains that the football hold evolved in order to compensate for it.
September 6th, 2007 at 7:25 pm, Lauren Says:
Love it!!
September 7th, 2007 at 3:39 pm, Terri Says:
This was too funny! I’m a relatively new reader. I’m enjoying your blog immensely.
September 7th, 2007 at 5:40 pm, Thida Says:
Very cute!