Stumble it!
September 12, 2007
Frustrated Mom Needs Vocabulary Lesson
“You don’t have to murder it; you just have to hit it,” is one of the encouragements I yell to Finn during baseball season. My baseball repertoire is vast:
“Don’t watch the ball, just hit it and RUN!”
“Hey outfield, look alive!”
“Nice hit!”
“Way to hustle!”
“It’s coming to YOU, [name]!”
“Mow him down– he’s in the baseline!”
I don’t yell, “Go Finn Glamore, #23 on the field and #1 in my heart” anymore, because the last time I did Finn struck out and blamed it on me, and rightfully so.
Soccer has been hard to adjust to. Our team is new, so I have few opportunities to shout “Nice kick” or “nice pass” but when these rare events happen I do try to acknowledge them.
It’s when the ball is being kicked around in the middle of the field with no sense of purpose that I get doubly frustrated, first that the ball isn’t being taken down to the goal, and second that I can’t think of a nice way to tell Finn that kicking the ball once and then slowing to a walk doesn’t seem very effective. Intellectually I realize there’s no magnetic force field that repels our team away from the ball, but when you’re caught up in the game frenzy, that’s how it appears.
I’ve sat through a number of games where all the action takes place on the far end of the field, where our players desperately (well, some are desperate, and some are lackadaisical) try to keep the ball out of our goal. Watching a game of total defense makes me want to stick forks in my eyes.
So far I’ve come up with these shouts (all invented on the spur of the moment):
“Yo, we’re all sitting down here; how about bringing the ball to THIS end of the field, Bolts?”
“Hey– get up in him and get that ball away from him!”
“Don’t let that blue guy kick that ball!”
“Y’all keep that ball down here where I can keep an eye on you.”
“Finn, if you don’t run up to that guy and steal that ball I’m gonna FREAK OUT!”
None of the other parents are yelling anything like this, which makes me wonder if there are better, more soccer-ish phrases I could be using. Something that would result in increased aggressiveness, without actually shouting for blood.
I am hoping someone can help. Christian? Anyone?
Two years ago: Tackled By Football
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September 12th, 2007 at 1:40 pm, Stacy Says:
I always like “up the sideline!” and “kick it to the side” (younger kids need to be reminded to keep the ball away from the center of the field when it is down toward their own goal) and my all time favorite, “give him someone to pass to!” when they are heading to the other goal. I also like “stay on it!” when they are fighting for the ball. Whatever you do, don’t say my husband’s favorite line, “that ball has your name on it, xxxx!” The boys HATE that one. “good try” “great shot” “nice pass” are the most common comments. Coaches really discourage parents coaching from the sidelines, so those last 3 are really the best ones. Now that my oldest is in high school, I’m not allowed to yell anymore, only cheer when they score a goal.
September 12th, 2007 at 1:41 pm, Busy Mom Says:
I’m not sure, but, the worse things get for us, the more I yell a generic, “Go, team!” to keep from losing my cool.
Sometimes? I yell, “Go, team!” a whole bunch. They may or may not “go”, but, it fulfills my need to yell.
September 12th, 2007 at 1:46 pm, Alyce Says:
I guess my first thing is, if you’re not the coach then you don’t need to be shouting things that result in increased aggressiveness. That’s his/her job.
You’re the mom. You bring the oranges and the gatorade. You deal with the smelly, sweaty uniforms. You yell things like “nice hustle #4″, and “nice pass #7″. You do get to have quiet conversations in the car on the way home about the ways in which Finn really stepped up his game. About teamwork and having fun. About keeping his grades up.
I was always voted “most inspirational” on my soccer and softball teams. I yelled my arse off during games. But I detested the parents who did the same. I may have yelled back on occasion, “No, YOU look alive, Mr. Anderson.”It rarely comes across as encouraging, unless you only yell niceties. And somehow “cute hair, will” is not what I think you were looking for.
September 12th, 2007 at 1:55 pm, Jennifer Says:
I was looking forward to my kids getting involved in sports…I forgot I’d have to become a cheerleader. Can you just say, “Woo hoo!”? Or “Yeah!” Ooh, what about “Rah, rah rall, kick the ball!”?
Sorry, that’s all I’ve got for you, I’m not a natural born cheerleader.
September 12th, 2007 at 2:08 pm, alala Says:
Well, my husband mostly seems to shout, “Mei, schiass, du Pflaume!” (Bavarian for “oh, shoot, you plum!” - apparently a plum is not a good thing to be on a soccer pitch?) Otherwise it’s a string of mild Bavarian swearwords like kreiskruzifünferl. Might try something like that if you’re bored with your current repertoire.
September 12th, 2007 at 2:16 pm, momumo Says:
Well I think it’s fine for mom’s (and dad’s) to yell things that might increase the hustle and spirit of the game - but I come from a family of competitive sob’s and married into a family of coaches (even more competitive s.o.b.’s) - so… I think it’s great - I find that just the right tone of “hustle” with that gravelly I am the sporty bad ass mom generally satisfies me - and it’s short enough and not directed at anyone that to my knowledge no one has been offended by me (not that I would give a shit)… also, just for fun, nicknames are great - we had a schmidt on the foot(with two o’s)ball team and one mom would say “kick the schmidt outta it” he was the kicker - I loved it, but apparently someone took offense - also, we had a dad in early competitive baseball that would use a kid’s nickname and then make up phrases — hey trout - “put fins on that ball and send it for a long swim” — cracked us all up enough we didn’t care if they were stressing us with lack of commitment
September 12th, 2007 at 2:16 pm, VHMom Says:
My husband’s all-purpose cheer/rant to any sport at any level below NCAA Div I-A:
DO SOMETHING!
Mine (for any sport at any level): HERE WE GO!
Other good ones: PAY ATTENTION!
YESSSSSSSS!
NOOOOOOOOO!
COME ON BABY, MAMA’S
WATCHING!!
(or whatever pet name is used, it always gets their attention…you asked for increased agressiveness!)
And the all purpose: THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! Stress different words for good or bad connotations.
My girls always said they didn’t know what the parents were saying when they yelled, but it was nice to hear them yelling. Except at an away game in an eerily quiet gym, then they didn’t like it if I was the only one being peppy. Oh well! Who said growing up is easy? At least I’ve given them great material to use when they have their own kids to embarrass in public!
September 12th, 2007 at 3:44 pm, Laura Says:
All of these cheers/rants sound like the conversation I just had with my 5 year old about cleaning up her room!
Hustle, Look over there, On the right, Now to the other side. Good eye. Keep it up. Kick in the dirty clothes basket for 2 points!
Motivating children should be a professional sport with high paying promotional spots for parents! My current payoff is a slightly cleaner room and my little girl calling me a such a silly mommy.
September 12th, 2007 at 8:33 pm, Ann Kroeker Says:
Our soccer girls play on a recreational league, and the parents are surprisingly subdued. One time I was calling out some encouragement, at least I thought it was encouraging:
“You can do it!” “Good job!” “Keep it up, come on, keep it up!” The commissioner’s daughter was on the other team and said, “Hey! *You* try running nonstop in the heat before you criticize.”
I didn’t think I was critical, but I’ve joined the subdued crowd. Now I just sit in my chair and stare.
September 12th, 2007 at 9:46 pm, Belinda Says:
Yeah, my default for all sporting occasions is, ummm…”GO.”
September 13th, 2007 at 10:55 am, alala Says:
My son’s first team was drawn from the grad-student family housing area, so we had kids from South Korea, Italy and Germany, among others. The (yuppie-head) parents of the other team asked us to tone it down, because we were making their kids feel not-supported-enough. Jeez…
September 13th, 2007 at 1:05 pm, Honeybell Says:
I’m a big “HUSTLE!” screamer, but your way is much more entertaining . . .
September 14th, 2007 at 10:15 am, Your chance to teach a soccer mom more about the game at ThroughBall.com Says:
[...] back. This time she’s looking for some help finding “better, more soccer-ish phrases I could be using. Something that would result in [...]
September 14th, 2007 at 10:22 am, Mamaluv Says:
I love it, Anne! I’m going to steal some of those gems for this weekend. Our team is pretty young, so some of the players don’t really know how to play. My comments (some internal, some voiced - unfortunately) are generally:
-”Stop running away from the ball!”
-”Don’t just stand there!”
-”The goalie’s picking his nose, now’s your chance!”
-”Any time now, please.”
-”Great try! Now, next time, shoot it so that it actually goes toward the goalie’s box!”
-”Stop socializing, and get open!”
-”That’s it, baby girl! I love you!!”
That last one is my most overused and under-appreciated cheer. My daughter is in the eye-rolling stage now, so nothing I say or do is particularly welcome. She’d just rather I sit there and shut up.
I try, hard though it is, to stick to general whooping and clapping.
September 14th, 2007 at 10:51 am, kj Says:
Really, I’m going to agree with one of the other posters. Let the coaches coach. Be there to encourage and support, but don’t try yelling things of a strategy nature.
Save that kind of stuff (and other, uh, less savory stuff) for watching a pro game.
September 18th, 2007 at 3:27 pm, On The Pitch Says:
What Parents Should Shout From The Sidelines…
One other bad part of being away from the blog these few weeks is I didn’t have time to read any other blogs either. So I started catching up on some RSS feeds and like always, Josh has a post up that just screams ‘link to me’
Reme…