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September 17, 2007
Sexy Singers, But Can They Spell?
Bill never has much of an opinion on music, so the boys and I were astounded when we were on the way to church and he said, “Who is this singing? She has a cool voice.”
It was Fergie, singing “Big Girls Don’t Cry” for the umpteenth time.
“This song is okay,” I said, “but Gwen Stefani has a ballad out now called “Four In The Morning” that’s infinitely better. Want to hear it?” I reached for my iPod to dial it up.
“Hang on, I want to hear the rest of this,” he said.
I was peeved. Gwen Stefani is obviously much hipper, and I’ve loved her forever. According to my marital logic, if Bill’s not going to care about music, he’s obligated as my spouse to support my singers.
When we got home, I made the mistake of showing Bill a picture of Fergie, and for a moment he decided he liked her a lot better than Gwen. Of course, that’s because a man’s amygdala and hypothalamus are more strongly activated by visual stimuli than a woman’s, and Gwen sports mighty unfortunate hair in her picture.
Fergie
Gwen
But men are easily influenced by looks, and beauty fades. Then you’re left with the real person, and a close listen to each singer’s lyrics reveals that Gwen’s strength is Fergie’s downfall. We value spelling in the Glamore house, and Gwen makes the grade, while Fergie gets an F.
Fergie manages to spell “delicious” correctly in her wacky “Fergalicious.” In the same song, she misspells “tasty” as “T-A-S-T-E-Y” numerous times, and there’s no doubt this evens out the rhythm of the song, but it sets a bad example for today’s youth, like my boys, who misspelled it this way for a couple of weeks before I figured out what was going on.
In contrast, thanks to Gwen’s masterpiece “Hollaback Girl,” no one will ever misspell BANANAS again.
To hear Fergie’s blatant misspelling click here. (About two minutes in, if you can BEAR it!)
To listen to Gwen’s song about properly spelled fruit go here. (2:30ish)
Two years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: He’s No Dummy
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September 17th, 2007 at 10:08 pm, A Whole Lot of Nothing Says:
I’m a Gwen girl all the way. The only redeaming quality I see in Fergie is Josh Duhamel. But, Gwen has Gavin. He’s so dreamy…
September 17th, 2007 at 10:56 pm, MammaLoves Says:
Oh! Gwen is infinitely more talented (and probably far more beautiful without all the make-up).
And thanks to A Whole Lot of Nothing for reminding us all of Gavin. Mmmmm. Gavin.
September 17th, 2007 at 11:23 pm, Jesse Says:
Oh my gosh, I totally agree…..I just can’t get through that Fergalicious song without whining about her poor spelling, so my hubby has finally learned to change the station when it comes on the radio. As far as Gwen is concerned, we’re BOTH Gwen fans, from way back when hardly anyone knew who No Doubt was, and while Fergie doesn’t have a bad voice….well…..yeah, we’ll just say that Gwen is better and leave it at that. *grin*
September 18th, 2007 at 1:37 am, alala Says:
Yeah, probably should have looked for a better picture of Gwen - purely in the interests of a completely objective comparison of their music of course.
Tsh. Men.
September 18th, 2007 at 6:47 am, Jennifer Says:
I completely agree with A Whole Lot of Nothing who commented above me! Fergie’s only redeeming quality is her boyfriend Josh. Mmmm, Josh.
September 18th, 2007 at 6:58 am, Karen Says:
I am so, so very out of it that I thought you were referring to Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York (Prince Andrew’s former wife). Then I saw the photo….
September 18th, 2007 at 6:58 am, MamaD4 Says:
I can’t stand “Big Girls Don’t Cry”. That lyric about “I’m gonna miss you, like a child misses their blanket” just bugs me SO much. I don’t know why. Maybe I just don’t like to think about Fergie in conjunction with my two babes and their blankets. I liked her with the Black Eyed Peas, she should have stayed there. Show your hubby some pictures of Gwen from way back when she was fresh-faced and brunette.
September 18th, 2007 at 6:56 pm, adriana Says:
MamaD4, I think I know why that line bothers you: a child doesn’t miss THEIR blanket; a child misses HIS or HER blanket. It drives me nuts. I hate that stupid song, and that one line somehow always gets stuck in my head.
September 18th, 2007 at 10:37 pm, Paige Says:
So about the Gwen. Next time she’s in the neighborhood, let’s go see her perform.
P
September 19th, 2007 at 9:21 am, Chag Says:
Gwen is way hotter. Fergie is scary.
September 19th, 2007 at 10:38 am, Kiki Says:
I’m a Gwen girl, myself. But my son,… male that he is,… is currently a Fergie guy. As a mom of 4 boys, there is a lot of that in my future! Your blog is hysterical!
September 19th, 2007 at 2:38 pm, Mamaluv Says:
I’m not allowed to listen to modern music. My husband has turned the kids to the Dark Side and they only want Van Halen and Aerosmith.
Lucky you!!
September 19th, 2007 at 3:14 pm, Alexis Says:
So…You don’t like Fergie’s song because spelling tasty T-A-S-T-E-Y “sets a bad example for your children”? I think that’s more than a little absurd. I don’t think either artist has any worthwhile contribution to make to the development of your kids. This sh*t is bananas.
September 19th, 2007 at 5:28 pm, Karin Says:
HA!! My teenager likes bands from the past, Led Zeppelin being his favorite. I am still grieving for Luciano.
September 19th, 2007 at 8:35 pm, Hillary Says:
Tell Bill to check out this pic of Gwen.
http://www.sephora.com/browse/brand_hierarchy.jhtml?brandId=5874&cm_mmc%3dus_search-_-GG-_-br%20lamb-_-gwen%20stefani%20perfume
Also, this fragrance is fabulous!
hugs!
hillary
September 20th, 2007 at 11:44 pm, Shannon River Says:
Try and find the pictures of Fergie being all “sweaty”. Those have unfortunately stuck in my mind ever since I saw them. Bacially, the pictures seem to indicate some kind of incontinence problem. She’s prone to this.
September 15th, 2008 at 11:59 am, My Tiny Kingdom » Weepy Webelos Says:
[...] ************************** One Year Ago in My Tiny Kingdom: Sexy Singers, But Can They Spell? [...]