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September 19, 2007
An Ode To Osmosis
I remember learning about osmosis, the process by which water moves across a membrane from an area of low concentration to an area of high concentration, in Mrs. B’s 7th grade biology class.
The idea was difficult for me to grasp, and my mother spent hours with me in the den going over the difference in a hypertonic solution and a hypotonic solution while I cried salty tears that I now know were hypertonic with salt compared to the water in the dog bowl.
I’ve never had an occasion to use other concepts I learned in the class, like the stages of mitosis (anaphase, metaphase, telophase) although they rattle uselessly in my mind, taking up valuable real estate that could be put to much better use remembering that Wednesday’s soccer skills workout has been changed from 5:30 to 5:15. Sorry, fellow carpool moms.
But osmosis!
Osmosis is useful, especially if you stretch the definition a bit.
Last night during dinner Bill asked Finn if he had done any of his homework that afternoon. Bill had asked Finn to get his English out of the way so he’d have plenty of time to study for his Big Ass Math Test. Math has been giving Finn quite a bit of trouble, so Bill stepped in to help strengthen his study skills. (Out of necessity he’s picked up some “New Math” in the process, which bears no resemblance to the division and distribution that we are all familiar with.)
Finn ducked his head and said, “A little.”
I glanced to my left, where Finn’s backpack was on the kitchen floor, in the exact place he had slung it when he’d come home from school. It was zipped up tight.
“Finn, have you learned about osmosis in school yet?” I asked.
“About what?”
“Osmosis. It’s when a substance transfers through a membrane to the other side of the membrane. For example, if your English notebook had somehow gotten out of your backpack by moving through the canvas membrane which covers the backpack, and not by a student, such as yourself, unzipping the backpack and removing the notebook through the hole that was thereby created, that would be osmosis.”
Finn looked at me and then saw his backpack on the ground. His cheeks got red.
“And so, now that you understand the concept of osmosis,” I continued, “I ask you, did your English notebook osmosize out of your backpack and into your room where you studied it, or did you just lie to your father when he asked whether you had done your homework?”
I paused for effect.
“Osmosis or lie?” I asked, staring at Finn across my plate of Chicken with Noodles and Al Fredo Sauce.
He looked down.
“In this situation I would so love to be able to say osmosis,” he said.
Whereupon we banished him from the table, and all sorts of unpleasant parental maneuvers intended to drill obedience, truthfulness and self-discipline into every fiber of Finn’s being ensued.
Today he came home and confessed that he never did study for that math test.
Some qualities can’t be forced onto a person, through osmosis or otherwise.
A year ago in My Tiny Kingdom: Finn’s Fashion Wisdom
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September 19th, 2007 at 10:12 pm, liz Says:
We did osmosis today and yesterday in my labs!
Although, strictly speaking, osmosis is a term only used for the diffusion of water through a membrane.
I know, I’m a geek. Sorry.
You can bet your son will never forget what osmosis means though.
September 19th, 2007 at 11:15 pm, MammaLoves Says:
Oh I so wish osmosis would work in more situations.
September 20th, 2007 at 5:48 am, Lynda Says:
Is that the same process toddlers use to absorbe nutrients from food spread across their faces?
September 20th, 2007 at 8:48 am, cardiogirl Says:
I love the use of “osmosize” as a verb! Awesome!
Also awesome is the way you detailed the explanation of osmosis first to your readers in the first paragraph (total science dork here, meaning I have very little understanding or knowledge of actual science) and then to your kid (the explanation this 39-year-old understood best cough, cough).
Now can you explain to me why enzymes are present when hydrogen peroxide bubbles. And what exactly does that mean? That enzymes are present?
September 20th, 2007 at 10:30 am, Clearlykels Says:
Oh dear. Well, I hope he learned his lesson.
Oh another note, could I have that recipe for dangerous brownies– the one that invoved symphony bars.
I might need it.
September 20th, 2007 at 1:41 pm, Renee Says:
The best school-related use of osmosis is to place your textbook under your pillow at night, and the information ‘osmosizes’ into your brain!
September 20th, 2007 at 2:34 pm, Jennifer Says:
This reminds me of that poster with Garfield with books on his head. The caption read: Learning by Osmosis.
Sadly, carrying books on my head never actually worked.
September 21st, 2007 at 8:31 am, enigmama Says:
Of course osmosis works! That’s how my mother’s gestures, expressions, and threats became part of me, espcially when I must deal with uncooperative offspring. (I only recently really thought about Kingdom Come after using it to colorfully express my displeasure to 8-year-old boy. Not the physical place I assumed in childhood.)
September 21st, 2007 at 8:40 am, My Tiny Kingdom » Missing HTML: Reward If Found! Says:
[...] see, I have a good grasp of osmosis, and I can give a talk about the birds and the bees, and I successfully broke a son of the habit of [...]
September 25th, 2007 at 8:10 am, My Tiny Kingdom » Corralling The Horses Says:
[...] If you’ve been worried about the the right age to teach your children “Found a Peanut” or “100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall,” you can mark that off your to-do list. I’m happy to report that if your kids are exposed to a wide variety of wholesome friends they’ll learn those songs and many other, equally irritating ditties as well. I think it happens by osmosis. [...]