Migod - I think I ruptured something laughing at that.

And as to the code phrases? Oh, yeah. Given that my two are now looking into having their hands surgically attached to Mr Knish (code phrase 1), at the park, at the table, in the car, and at the supermarket, I have been overheard saying things like:

“J! There is a security breach at Los Pantalones; please close and lock the front gate at ONCE.”

“W! Elvis has left the building and he needs to go back INSIDE.”

And so on.

I used to have a real life. Swear.

My boys are still preschoolers, but we have recently discovered the wonderful world of the “phallic stage”. So far all we say is “stop fiddling with your winky!” I know, using a euphemism for a body part is a big no-no, but I figure there’s time to figure that one out yet.

I told my husband (after having The Talk with our 8-yr-old daughter) that all masculine puberty-related (and otherwise) discussions are his department. Go ahead, call me a prude. I don’t have the equipment and so have no experience in this area.

Plus, I am a prude.

Fortunately the horses don’t come out of the barn often here, however they like to be completely uncorraled, with no barn in sight, sigh.

My sister’s family says, “your barn door’s open; your horses will get out” as code for “zip up your pants!” Her lone daughter, at the age of 4, responded, “I don’t have horses. I only have hay.”