December 28, 2007

40

Some people say that forty is the new thirty.  Bullshit.   I didn’t have chin whiskers (excuse me — stray eyebrow hairs) when I was thirty.

I have a fair complexion and can keep it under control.  I’m extremely worried about my thirty-something Greek friends, though.

Edited to add:

Whoa– this post is causing much consternation.  Hasten to the drugstore and purchase some Tweezerman tweezers, a magnifying mirror, and reading glasses — these will be your tools of discovery AND annihilation.  Report back on your findings and the results of your attack.

December 27, 2007

The Liquid Paper Is Running Out

I was thrilled to find a new wireless keyboard under the Christmas tree.

The old one was quite banged up, and it’s hard to type with no visible letters.

Drawing the letters on the blank keys was getting tiresome, and I’m too old to learn to type without looking.

Looks like I’ll be able to continue writing now that my technology has improved.

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We’re furiously packing for NYC. Finn has planned an uplifting day on Monday– a visit to both the Holocaust Museum and the WTC Tribute Museum.

We need to see both of these, but that’s a lot of tragedy for one day. I think I’ll take them to Economy Candy afterwards.

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Hey– a shout out to both Amy at MyScoop and Andre at The Terminal, both of whom were recently featured in the Birmingham News for their blogs.  Go visit and tell them I sent you!

December 22, 2007

13 Crucial Tasks To Teach Your Children

I’m all about teaching my kids how to do things by themselves. Sure, it’s great for them to be self-reliant, but it’s even better for them to take a little of the load off of me.

While I could have named this 1001 Things To Teach Your Kids, I’ve got crap to get accomplished while the boys are folding, stuffing and stamping the Christmas cards.

1. Teach your kids to gift wrap. Buy cheap paper and don’t expect perfection. Then again, if you have a kid like Porter, after a couple of years he’ll invent something like this.

View A: View B:

It looks like Porter wrapped two presents for Drew.

The Big Reveal:

It’s Two-Sided Wrapping!!

How Does He Do It??

I don’t know. I let him run amok with the wrapping supplies and this is what happens. He tells me that for best results, you should turn and move the gift each day to a different spot under the tree so your prey believes he has more presents than he actually does.

2. I came across these tips on how not to be a Know It All Jerk on The Huffington Post. The article appears to be aimed at adults, but wouldn’t we all be happier if everyone learned this as kids?

Merry, Happy, etc!

Two years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: I Think I’m There

December 18, 2007

Go Outside And Play With Guns

I lost the battle over having toy guns in the house way back when Finn was a toddler, and then I handed the whole firearm issue over to Bill.

So while we are notorious hard asses about media, you might describe us as incredibly lax in another area (besides haircuts). Each boy owns an air soft gun, a product I’d never heard of until recently.

It’s like a paint ball gun without the paint. The boys put on protective goggles and run around the yard SHOOTING EACH OTHER ON PURPOSE, which is exactly what I don’t want them doing in video games.

Bill says, “Lighten up, Frances,” and I guess he’s right. We can’t ban everything. At least there’s no blood, flying body parts or scantily clad women involved.

But I bet the neighbors across the street worry when they see this:

Is this a Southern thing, a boy thing, or what?

A year ago in My Tiny Kingdom: Drew Discovers Santa’s Limits

December 15, 2007

An Experiment & Gift Ideas!

Yo home slice!

That’s the way Finn is greeting people these days. Is anyone else’s kid speaking indecipherable jargon? I mean, this goes way beyond being psyched, and it’s a ginormous buzz kill to interpret.

I’m experimenting with a new feature that should add the title of your latest blog post to your comment. Please comment and let’s see if it works or if the whole shebang crashes to bits. Thanks to Jennifer for this cool idea.

I don’t have to tell you that the holidays are upon us. I realized that I totally forgot to put up a guide for spouses, and I’m not going to do it now. Instead, you men who are floundering, get ye to the jewelry counter posthaste!

Before you go, check and see if your lover wears silver or gold. I say this only because MY lover once gave me a gift of silver jewelry, and while I acted appropriately grateful, inwardly I was miffed, as I never wear the stuff. It makes me look as if I might faint.

Some of you may be lucky enough to have lovers who wear both, in which case ignore the above.

Not willing to brave the traffic? In luck! Red Envelope has nice things at reasonable prices. Amazon and Overstock do as well. I was also impressed with JewelsForMe and I always love Bill Barnes.

Ladies, feel free to point your significant others to this page to make your wishes known. I’ll go ahead and number a few things I liked so you can put a sticky note on your monitor for even better hinting. Lord, do I make this easy on you or what??

1. Cool earrings

2. I’m not Mariah Carey, so I hate this butterfly thing, (I hate all jewelry with nature, babies, animals) but this gold locket is so romantic.

3. I’m about to trade in the long pearls my mom bought me in the 1983 for a Choker Length strand because a choker is less matronly and you can wear it casually or for a night out.

4. The threat of receiving an Auburn thong for Christmas led me to do a little research on birthstone jewelry. The whole baby doll on a chain with stone is not my cup of tea (see above) but there are lots of other options out there, such as this Sapphire and Diamond Circle Pendant or this beautiful Ruby pendant.

5. Actually, though, the place to go for any jewelry if you know what stone you want is JewelsForMe, where I saw a lovely opal bracelet, garnet earrings, and a peridot pendant. You can shop by stone, price, yellow or white gold, and type of jewelry on this easy to navigate site. It has jewelry in a range of prices.

6. I’m not totally against silver. It’s great for some people, and Overstock had fabulous examples. I thought these Mexican hoops were awesome.

7. I don’t know that this is a Christmas or Hanukkah gift. However, I’m a huge fan of the gift that keeps on giving, and by that I mean a gift that you can add to over the years. I mentioned adding to collections in one of my earlier gift guides.

This is new since I had kids but now men are evidently giving their wives a present each time they have a baby. My thought is RUN to the Bill Barnes website and look under “designers” at the Hidalgo rings. Don’t freak out - you’ll see lots of patriotic and nature designs at first - ye gods!

But if you click on “Hidalgo Guards” and “Bracelets” (no teddy bears for me, thanks!) and “Classic Styles,” you’ll see that Hidalgo is all about adding rings together, or a set of Moon and Stars bracelets, and you could add one piece each time you add a kid. And if you want to walk around with turtles on your finger, well go right ahead and suit yourself. I’ll be going Contemporary myself.

For all of you still looking for ideas:

My Gift Guide to Boy Toys

My Guide to Gifts for Teachers, Babies and Toddlers

My Guide for the Hard To Buy For

My Gift Ideas For Kids Who Have Sort Of Behaved

Leave a comment and see what happens, home slice!