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July 24, 2008
Tolerant Mom Alert! Boys Do Science Projects At Home
We’ve done plenty of scientific investigations around the Glamore house, including one with marbles and magnets and another involving bagels and ice. Anything can be the subject of experimentation.
To encourage your kids to do a science experiment, tell them to get their butts off the couch and go outside because if they watch any more TV their brains will rot. Ignore them when they say that seeing rotten brains would be friggin’ cool.
Do your thing, pausing every once in a while to sniff for fire and listen for birds on the loose. (Feathers has been flying a lot more lately. Am I supposed to get her wings clipped, I wonder?) If you hear sirens, haul ass upstairs asap. Whew. Must be an emergency at someone else’s house this time.
Just before you cook dinner, see what your boys have done.
“Mom, look what we did with the tomatoes we planted,” Porter said. It was Porter’s idea to plant tomatoes and peppers. I was too lazy to buy one of those wire cone things you put around the plants to support them as they grow. I was certain Porter would kill them before the tomatoes ever got to that point. I was wrong.
Hey- look at the Contraption That Formerly Served As A Wooden Wine Rack That Has Been Rigged With Yarn And Turned Into A Tomato Supporter. I invented that. The wine disappears so fast that we weren’t using the rack for its intended purpose anyway.
“I can’t wait to see what y’all have done,” I said with fake enthusiasm. We got diverted by this caterpillar which Drew wanted me to fry and serve for dinner. I told him it was too small for five people and when he found a decent sized snake to let me know.
Those are some precious green tomatoes, aren’t they? Drew and Porter didn’t view them as cute fruit. They decided to cut a couple and see how quickly they would decay. They pierced one with some wire and hung it from the patio table where it would be pelted with the searing rays of the Alabama sun.
They rummaged around under the house and found a heavy-duty lamp a workman left behind. They put the other tomato directly under the lamp and plugged it in.
They poked each tomato with needles they’d rounded up from the closet, just for the hell of it. Then they sat back and waited for the maggots to descend.
“I think the sun will decay the tomatoes faster because we eat sundried tomatoes and that’s why they named them that,” Porter theorized.
“If it works we can have a lemonade stand and also sell sundried tomatoes and we can buy a Wii with the money we make,” Drew said.
Bill and I had to drag them inside for dinner. It was my fault for making sure they got their nourishment for the day; we all missed what had to be an electrifying sizzle.
The winner:
There’s no market for lamp-charred tomatoes yet, but I’m working on recipes now.
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Three years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: Isn’t Summer Over Yet?
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July 24th, 2008 at 5:27 pm, followthatdog Says:
I am sure I have this to look forward to. My boys are currently more into testing gravity right now, by both jumping off stuff and tossing stuff out the window. At least they have curious minds, right? better than a dullard plopped down in front of the TV all day.
followthatdog’s last blog post..Badge of Dishonor
July 24th, 2008 at 5:29 pm, sam Says:
Hahahaha! That’s so going to be my boys in a few years!
sam’s last blog post..It’s Over Between Us
July 24th, 2008 at 5:32 pm, Dana Says:
Hysterical. Glad I know what to look forward to, now.
Dana’s last blog post..Busy little bee
July 24th, 2008 at 5:33 pm, Alli ~Mrs. Fussypant Says:
Love it!
Alli ~Mrs. Fussypant’s last blog post..It is over, and I am so darn happy
July 24th, 2008 at 5:43 pm, threeundertwo Says:
Better than frying the caterpillar I guess!
threeundertwo’s last blog post..Vintage Thingies Thursday: Cast Iron Stove
July 24th, 2008 at 5:44 pm, ilinap Says:
Oh my! My 5-year old is obsessed with science projects. Science camp this week isn’t helping matters. Our house and yard are overrun with crazy contraptions and messes. I shudder to think what will happen when my 2 boys discover fire.
July 24th, 2008 at 5:57 pm, Michele Says:
Woman! How come when MY kids experiment they manage to create new weapons. And yours experiment they want to see what happens vegetables? Or fruit? Or whatever they are nowadays? I’m baffled by my children’s need to kill each other in new and terrifying ways. Sigh.
Michele’s last blog post..Stories from BlogHer08
July 24th, 2008 at 5:59 pm, patriciaj Says:
You can always try mixing as many possible things as possible, freeze them but don’t tell your mom you did. Watch her face as she pulls it out for dinner. Must wait for some defrosting to happen for full effect.
patriciaj’s last blog post..Summer in Los Angeles: Spa Love
July 24th, 2008 at 7:17 pm, Jamie Says:
Wooden wine rack turned tomato cage/support holder thingy? You rock!
July 24th, 2008 at 9:10 pm, Erin Says:
I can only hope my son is so creative one day. You’ve got to compile the stories of their antics into a book so I can pass it out to my non-web friends!
July 24th, 2008 at 9:17 pm, mandy Says:
CUTE! I can’t wait till my boy grows some.
mandy’s last blog post..Randomosity
July 24th, 2008 at 10:49 pm, Headless Mom Says:
I wish we were neighbors so I could say “Go play with those Glamour boys. They know how to have fun!”
Then we could drink.
Headless Mom’s last blog post..The Fast
July 25th, 2008 at 1:21 am, Molly Says:
Anne, that was hilarious and further proves the differences between boys and girls, though I had one nature girl and one who lifted her legs up off of the ground when we set her down on the grass as a toddler!
Thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you at BlogHer and am loving your site. I especially love your banner. My mom died of ovarian cancer too. Very sad. You are a real trooper.
Talk soon.
Molly
July 25th, 2008 at 2:09 am, baseballmom Says:
God your boys are cool…they always do fun stuff! I, too, wish we lived by you…our kids would have a blast. Sometimes I wish I had twins, so they could entertain each other, instead of fighting like mine do.
baseballmom’s last blog post..Hmmmm…
July 25th, 2008 at 9:48 am, kmum Says:
I have a son and he is only three, so my days of experiments are still a little in the future. The use of the wine rack as a plant support is fabulous! Wine racks are nice, but a bottle of wine never lasts long enough to put on a rack in my house either.
July 25th, 2008 at 10:26 am, Sam Says:
My secretary just walked in to see why I was laughing so hard. Great post!
July 25th, 2008 at 12:57 pm, Karyn Says:
I love it!
Please tell me my kids will eventually turn to benign science experiments like this instead of the ones they currently favor, like “What Happens To Little Brothers When They’re Wrapped In The Swing Rope And Hung From The Monkey Bars”. Please.
Karyn’s last blog post..We Are The World
July 25th, 2008 at 2:05 pm, vicki Says:
Tell the boys there is NO money in lemonade stands…my boys just made $10 after drinking HALF the lemonade and little brother Wesley stealthy stealing the cupcakes (only to lick all the icing off and try and return it to the scene of the crime!)
xox
Come visit us in NYC!
Vicki Bodwell
http://www.kidsbeddingblog.com