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September 4, 2008
Science Gone Astray
I’m all about encouraging the boys’ love of science. Sadly, they’re not satisfied with the science they learn at school, because television has taught them that real scientists use test tubes and Bunsen burners, both of which are tops on Porter’s Christmas list. A Bunsen burner = fire and last time the boys played with fire, (that I’m aware of) a parakeet died. Here’s hoping he adds more to the list in the coming months.
Porter has spent the last year concocting potions in his bathroom out of non-approved materials such as Pert, dirt, mouthwash, shampoo, rocks, toilet paper, and other household objects stolen from my kitchen.
This may look like a damn fine mess to you, as it did to me. Scissors, aluminum foil, the plastic case from an iPod, murky water– where’s the science in this?
“It’s a model of the Bermuda triangle, and the blue water is the ocean around it,” Porter said. “Can we go to the Bermuda triangle? But lots of people don’t come back, so we should take guns and parachutes and food and cell phones.”
“We’ll see,” I said. “But we’re not going anywhere until you clean up this bathroom.”
His scientific method was cutting into my grocery budget. He especially enjoys producing bubbles and relies on bathroom items intended for hygienic purposes to generate them. Once I came home just hours after a trip to the Dollar Store and found that he’d confiscated an entire cabinet full of shampoo, which he was about to pour into the bathtub to create a tidal wave.
I put an immediate stop to that. Porter needs as many cleaning products on his body as he can apply in one shower.
In a rare instance of exceptional parenting, I bought Porter a book full of science experiments and the supplies needed to perform them, in hopes that I could cut down on our toiletry consumption and steer his investigations in a more scholarly direction. Sandwich Bag Science
Drew became equally obsessed with the book, and Porter and Drew ran through the first ten exercises in no time. I restricted their activities to the driveway. All was well until yesterday. Finn was home sick, I cleaned up a bit, and made a horrifying discovery in Drew’s bathroom cabinet.
I swirled the mixture around a bit but was unable to identify any ingredients, except the minty smell of mouthwash.
Porter disavowed all knowledge of the stuff, and proclaimed that he had moved on to sprouting lima beans. Drew squirmed under interrogation and finally confessed that he might have put some powder from Porter’s rock tumbling kit, toothpaste, blue Powerade and a squirt of Neutrogena face cleanser into the plastic cup.
“Mom said you can’t put anything you put on your body into your science experiments,” Porter said with the authority of a ten-year-old who knew that practice was so last week.
“Shut up,” Drew said, with the attitude of a kid with a couple of bullies in his class.
I was going to impose discipline, but I decided that being scientists was so much better than the alternative.
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One year ago in My Tiny Kingdom: They Didn’t Analyze The Men So I Will
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September 4th, 2008 at 9:11 am, SuSu Says:
My brother would drain my improvised Barbie swimming pool (really the blue sink in our bathroom), throw out Barbie and Ken and all of their friends, then proceed to “clean” his pennies with Comet. He had some really shiny coins, my mom had a clean sink and I had wet-haired dolls that weren’t finished with their sunbathing!!
September 4th, 2008 at 9:14 am, Crisanne Says:
Oh the concoctions I made…I never really understood why mom got so mad about a few squirts of this and a few squirts of that out of the medicine cabinet!
Crisanne’s last blog post..time flies…
September 4th, 2008 at 10:28 am, Joy East of theKingdom Says:
Just when you think they’ve outgrown the need for the cabinet locks!
Girls are no better…I’ve had botn of my girls “borrow” my make up for various reasons (not limited to applying it to their face). Unfortunately, they have their brother doing it now too.
I’m sure you can imagine my horror when I recently caught my son coming out of the bathroom, eyeshadow pallet in hand! I thought I’d better get to the bottom of it before Dad saw it and wound back up in ICU with a heart-attack.
“Don’t worry Mom,” he grinned, “I just needed something to shade my sketches with.”
I wonder if Picasso started this way…
Joy East of theKingdom’s last blog post..I See You in I.C.U.
September 4th, 2008 at 11:18 am, Peeved Michelle Says:
Have you seen HowToons? Each comic tells kids how to build something.
http://www.howtoons.com/toons/
Peeved Michelle’s last blog post..One last thing I hate about today
September 4th, 2008 at 12:08 pm, Meghan Says:
Ha! My brother was the exact same way. Always concocting something. And as his adoring little sister, I always wanted in on what he was doing.
We went through a phase where we would combine a number of ingredients in the kitchen, randomly of course, and bake it in the oven. One experiment reeked so bad it drove us out of the house. WHY we decided it needed to cook for the allotted time, I’ll have no idea. But cook it did and I think that was our last baking experiment.
September 4th, 2008 at 2:23 pm, Kids Bible Crafts Says:
I would encourage him as I am sure you try to. You may have a scientist on your hands. My kids are the same way. We have done so many science experiments that I created a section on my blog for Science Experiments.
September 4th, 2008 at 2:37 pm, ShortyMom Says:
My daughter has been doing this same thing for the last few months! Hers usually involves nail polish remover mixed with various things she can sneak into her bedroom without my noticing. Yesterday’s concoction involved food coloring and baking soda that was left over from her volcano (a legitimate class project) and thank goodness she was sitting at the kitchen table this time. She’s now got my youngest son involved with creating experiments and I dread seeing what’s coming next..
ShortyMom’s last blog post..Positive Thinking
September 4th, 2008 at 2:46 pm, Laura Says:
Have you seen Stomp Rockets,Catapults,and Kaleidoscopes: 30+ Amazing Science Projects you can build for less than $1?
It rocks. Seriously.
Laura’s last blog post..This woman deserves a scholarship
September 4th, 2008 at 2:53 pm, Barbara Says:
My daughters (ages 9 and 7) are constantly making “perfume” out of anything they think smells good.
They put it in a water bottle, and my mother drank it. Goodness only knows what was in it.
September 5th, 2008 at 11:36 pm, jen Says:
Have you signed up for Steve Spangler’s weekly science experiment? He’s the guy who started the whole Mentos/Diet Coke thing. He’s here in Denver and just awesome.
jen’s last blog post..So when do I call the game?
September 5th, 2008 at 11:51 pm, elizabeth channel Says:
Yes, I too live this way.
Just this morning I woke up to a cup of smelly froth sitting in front of my coffee maker. (Not popular.)
The 8-year-old finally confessed to emptying four different free sample packs of herbs “they were giving away” at the health food store.
Seriously, it looked like tape worms in green water.
September 6th, 2008 at 4:37 pm, Heidi Says:
You should let them in on the fact that cooking is science and let them watch Alton Brown. Concoctions, [supervised] fire, and learnin’ all in one. And they can be responsible for dinner!
September 11th, 2008 at 9:01 pm, Lovely Momentos » My Tiny Kingdom Says:
[...] Science Gone Astray - Boys will be boys. [...]