September 23, 2008

Multitasking Ice Cream Pie

I’m a multitasking master and a cook, and this recipe combines the best of both worlds. You can buy all the ingredients ahead of time and then work on the dessert for a moment here and a few seconds there, in between going to the office, picking up carpool, buying new guitar picks and so forth. No one will ever guess you made this delicious concoction while simultaneously talking on the phone, feeding the fish and putting away the groceries.  And it’s only four ingredients.  Highly recommended for both PMS-ing and pregnant women.

**************************************

Ingredients:

1. A premade cookie pie crust - there’s NO reason not to use chocolate

2. A half gallon of ice cream, any flavor, but Cookies & Cream, Coffee, and Fudge Ripple are all good choices

3. A jar of hot fudge sauce - Hershey’s spreads the best for me

4. A container of Cool Whip or the equivalent

Optional: toasted nuts, cocoa powder, sprig o’ mint, etc to fancy up your pie

Step 1:

At some point during your busy day, set out the ice cream to melt a little.  Go do some stuff.  Then heap the ice cream into the crust.  Remember how your mother (hopefully) told you beauty isn’t everything?  Well, that’s particularly true for the inside of this pie.  The lumpier is is, the better the surface will catch glops of chocolate fudge sauce when that time comes.

Once you’ve put the ice cream into the crust and slurped any leftovers, put the naked pie into the freezer to harden a bit - between 1 and 48 hours.

Step 2:

Spread the chocolate sauce over the pie.  You can do this part all messy since it won’t show, but mine looks pretty fantastic because I’m kind of anal about my pie.  Also, see how smooth the pie is now?  That’s totally hot fudge acting as ice cream spackle.  Stick the pie back in the freezer for 15 minutes to several hours and go write a brief or toilet train your child.

Step 3:

Spread the Cool Whip on top.  If you’re feeling festive, decorate the top with cocoa powder, toasted nuts, or whatever.  Stick the pie back in the freezer until you’re ready to serve it.

I’m no photo stylist, and I suck at cutting pies, but I bet you wish that missing slice was in your belly instead of mine.

*************************************

My other Works For Me Wednesday tips:

Labeling Camp Clothes: Dull Chore Made Zany Fun(created by my son - and still handy)

Safety Tip: Road ID

How We Parent - Just Because You Asked (most popular tip)

A Cheater’s Guide To Spiffing Up Your House (decorators beware!)

Food, Glorious Food (time for Jack O’ Lantern Pie again!)

Detoxify Noxious Athletic Shoes In Three Easy Steps!

Week O’ Recipes (yes - a week of them)

*****************

I linked this at Works For Me Wednesday over at Shannon’s.  Go take a peek for some other tips!

August 6, 2008

Well-Trained Boys Of An Anal-Retentive Mom

Drew and Porter know that when you make popcorn, it’s critical to have the floor covered with a towel and the 409 handy.  These precautions will result in a delicious snack and a mom who doesn’t freak out, about this activity, anyway.

In other news, you can read my woeful tale of carpool rejection.  Grab a hankie first.

*****************************

Three years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: Tooth Fairy Blues

April 30, 2008

Chow Chat

We were eating dinner and it was Porter’s turn to draw a card from Table Topics. “Where would you rather live, the mountains or the beach?” he read.

“That’s easy,” Porter said, tucking the card back into the box. “We should live in the mountains because there are too many tsunamis at the ocean.”

“What about mountain lions?” Drew asked.

“We can all fight a mountain lion, but a tsunami would wash us away in, like, a billionth of a nanosecond.”

“If we lived near the ocean we could eat shrimp and crabs and fish every day,” Drew said. “That would be yummy.”

“Aw, man, if we lived at the beach, I’d go to that spray tattoo place and get a barbed wire around one arm, and on the back of my shoulder I’d get a really buff Jesus with a holy light shining all around His head,” Finn said.

“I’d get a SpongeBob tattoo!” Drew yelled.

Bill and I exchanged glances. Finn joined the church last weekend but I didn’t realize his fervor was that strong.

“I’ve never heard of a spray tattoo,” Porter said.

“That’s because you’re an LBR,” Finn told him.

“What does that stand for?”

“Loser beyond repair.”

******************************

Two Years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: Coming Apart

March 30, 2008

Exposed (and recipes)

Finn says he’s scarred for life, but I think he should be thrilled his parents crave each other. Of course, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself.

I ordered a fancy new lens for my camera, and Thursday I was met with the disappointing sight of a slip stating that FedEx had come by and didn’t leave my package because a signature was required. The note was tragically unclear whether simply signing the slip and going about my business would be permissible. Consequently, I lurked by the door all day Friday, as much as I was able, and left pleading notes on the front door when I had to venture out (”Dashed to get kids from school– Dying for package– back in eight minutes– PLEASE accept signed form!! Luv ya!!”).

After school I trashed Finn’s plans. He was supposed to be chilling with the guys at a friend’s house, but I forced him to stay at home for an hour to sign the FedEx form while I drove his brothers to their respective social engagements. I also had to stop by Publix, which is taking a larger percentage of our pay each week, due to the boys’ increased appetites and the very noticeable increase in the cost of food. (Four bucks for an eight ounce bag of dried cheese tortellini? Dear Lord!)

Meanwhile, Bill and I were in constant communication by phone. It was Friday afternoon, the weather was glorious, and I needed him to pick up Drew and Porter from their outings and hurry home so we could celebrate spring with gin and tonics on the deck.

Hurry home he did. In fact, he came home before he picked up the duo, so he could go for a quick run. As he walked in the door I was cutting lime garnishes.

“Yippee! You’re here!” I squealed when I heard him open the door.

“You seem happy to see me,” he said. “You sound like a lady who wants to make sweet love to her husband.”

While that was true, we were both distracted by the groan that immediately came from the den. Finn was putting on his shoes to go out, and heard every word of our saucy exchange. Bill’s face grew red and we peered in the den, where Finn was looking at us with an even redder face.

“I am emotionally scarred for life,” he said. “I can’t believe you would talk like that with me in here.”

Bill just stood there shaking his head. “I thought he was going to be gone all afternoon,” he mumbled.

“You should be thrilled that you have parents who love to love each other,” I said.

“Enough! Stop with the love talk!” Finn held up his arms as if we were throwing darts at him and ran for the door.

Eeww. Spare me the gooey talk.

**************************

The reason I was purchasing the pasta was to make this glorious dish, which is a family favorite. I double it, which feeds everyone and leaves enough leftover for a couple of lunches. Unless I have beautiful tomatoes, I use a can of diced tomatoes, drained, per recipe. I always use fresh corn, however.

Try the Summer Garden Tortelloni– you’ll be glad you did. Thanks to Aunt Lulu, who sent us this recipe a while back.

**************************

Earlier I promised to publish a recipe for Olive Tarts, an appetizer my mom made in the 1970’s for all her parties. I remembered it as being the yummiest thing ever, but when I tested the recipe yesterday, it wasn’t as good as my memory of it.

This recipe definitely needs some improvement before it’s fit to serve. Apparently my parents had drunk so many Mai-Tais by the time they ate these that they didn’t notice how greasy they were. I’d definitely consider decreasing the butter before making these again.

After a few drinks, these will be delicious

The second problem was that instead of buying regular pimiento-stuffed green olives, I saw some that were called “Queen Size” and reasoned that they’d be perfect inside the puffy cheese coating. Boy, was I wrong. The larger olives were slightly hard and so huge that they completely overpowered the cheese taste.

Beware the big ass olives

So here’s the recipe, and you can have a go at it if you like. Use small olives and less butter to start. If you create a masterpiece let me know. (The reference to “sharp cheese” means Cheddar, and a dash of Tabasco won’t hurt these either.)

*******************

Three years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: Baseball Diaries: Snack Patrol 

Stay tuned - the snack madness continues, and still fires me up!

March 19, 2008

Bavarian Apple Torte with Prejudicial Ingredient

Looking around for a festive Easter dessert? Look no further. This marvelous apple tart is an old recipe of ours. It’s easy to make, looks fancy and needs nothing but a plate and perhaps some good quality vanilla ice cream to set it off.

To be honest, I had forgotten about this recipe until March rolled around. Each year Aunt Su and I bake each other a cake in lieu of a birthday present. She made me the most wonderful chocolate cake with mocha icing from the Barefoot Contessa. If you’re pissed off, like I am, that Baskin-Robbins and its Jamoca Almond Fudge ice cream are no longer available in this town, the cake will make you forget your huffiness for a moment while you swipe fingerfuls of icing from around the edge of the cake and blame it on your children.

Anyway, Aunt Su requested the Apple Tart recipe, and I delivered. I made two: one in the 9″ spring form pan the recipe calls for, and another in a slightly larger tart pan (pictured) to see if it would work, which it did.

I’m prejudiced against margarine, even Parkay, so I was horrified to see that this recipe calls for a good hunk of it. I resisted the urge to substitute butter, however, as I remembered the crust being so awesome. It still was. I guess I’ll have to make two more tarts to use up my other sticks of margarine.

I can never make the recipe use four whole cups of apples and still make a beautiful pattern. Two or three apples ought to be plenty for one recipe.

And sure, I suppose you could substitute some fake cream cheese for the full-fat kind, but really, wouldn’t it be a better idea to make it the right way and have a smaller piece, then take a walk after Easter dinner? Of course it would.

Bavarian Apple Torte

Crust:

1/2 cup Parkay margarine

1/3 cup sugar

1/4 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup flour

Filling:

1 8 oz package cream cheese

1/4 cup sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla

Topping:

4 cups peeled, thinly sliced Granny Smith apples

1/3 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 cup sliced pecans

Cream margarine and sugar together until light and fluffy. Blend in flour and vanilla. Spread dough on bottom and 1 inch up sides (lower if bigger pan) of 9″ springform pan. Use fingers to mush the dough up the sides of the pan.

No need to rinse beaters or bowl. Combine cream cheese and sugar until well blended. Mix in egg and vanilla and pour into pan. Spread evenly.

Mix cinnamon and sugar and toss with apples. Spoon (or arrange festively) over filling and sprinkle with nuts.

Bake for 10 minutes at 450, reduce heat to 400 and bake 25 minutes. Cool a little and loosen from pan, chill.

Serve chilled or room temperature.

The picture above is of the Bavarian apple torte just before I put it in the oven. I forgot to take a picture after it came out and then it was gone.

*************************

Two years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: A Different Kind Of Birthday