March 30, 2008

Exposed (and recipes)

Finn says he’s scarred for life, but I think he should be thrilled his parents crave each other. Of course, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself.

I ordered a fancy new lens for my camera, and Thursday I was met with the disappointing sight of a slip stating that FedEx had come by and didn’t leave my package because a signature was required. The note was tragically unclear whether simply signing the slip and going about my business would be permissible. Consequently, I lurked by the door all day Friday, as much as I was able, and left pleading notes on the front door when I had to venture out (”Dashed to get kids from school– Dying for package– back in eight minutes– PLEASE accept signed form!! Luv ya!!”).

After school I trashed Finn’s plans. He was supposed to be chilling with the guys at a friend’s house, but I forced him to stay at home for an hour to sign the FedEx form while I drove his brothers to their respective social engagements. I also had to stop by Publix, which is taking a larger percentage of our pay each week, due to the boys’ increased appetites and the very noticeable increase in the cost of food. (Four bucks for an eight ounce bag of dried cheese tortellini? Dear Lord!)

Meanwhile, Bill and I were in constant communication by phone. It was Friday afternoon, the weather was glorious, and I needed him to pick up Drew and Porter from their outings and hurry home so we could celebrate spring with gin and tonics on the deck.

Hurry home he did. In fact, he came home before he picked up the duo, so he could go for a quick run. As he walked in the door I was cutting lime garnishes.

“Yippee! You’re here!” I squealed when I heard him open the door.

“You seem happy to see me,” he said. “You sound like a lady who wants to make sweet love to her husband.”

While that was true, we were both distracted by the groan that immediately came from the den. Finn was putting on his shoes to go out, and heard every word of our saucy exchange. Bill’s face grew red and we peered in the den, where Finn was looking at us with an even redder face.

“I am emotionally scarred for life,” he said. “I can’t believe you would talk like that with me in here.”

Bill just stood there shaking his head. “I thought he was going to be gone all afternoon,” he mumbled.

“You should be thrilled that you have parents who love to love each other,” I said.

“Enough! Stop with the love talk!” Finn held up his arms as if we were throwing darts at him and ran for the door.

Eeww. Spare me the gooey talk.

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The reason I was purchasing the pasta was to make this glorious dish, which is a family favorite. I double it, which feeds everyone and leaves enough leftover for a couple of lunches. Unless I have beautiful tomatoes, I use a can of diced tomatoes, drained, per recipe. I always use fresh corn, however.

Try the Summer Garden Tortelloni– you’ll be glad you did. Thanks to Aunt Lulu, who sent us this recipe a while back.

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Earlier I promised to publish a recipe for Olive Tarts, an appetizer my mom made in the 1970’s for all her parties. I remembered it as being the yummiest thing ever, but when I tested the recipe yesterday, it wasn’t as good as my memory of it.

This recipe definitely needs some improvement before it’s fit to serve. Apparently my parents had drunk so many Mai-Tais by the time they ate these that they didn’t notice how greasy they were. I’d definitely consider decreasing the butter before making these again.

After a few drinks, these will be delicious

The second problem was that instead of buying regular pimiento-stuffed green olives, I saw some that were called “Queen Size” and reasoned that they’d be perfect inside the puffy cheese coating. Boy, was I wrong. The larger olives were slightly hard and so huge that they completely overpowered the cheese taste.

Beware the big ass olives

So here’s the recipe, and you can have a go at it if you like. Use small olives and less butter to start. If you create a masterpiece let me know. (The reference to “sharp cheese” means Cheddar, and a dash of Tabasco won’t hurt these either.)

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Three years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: Baseball Diaries: Snack Patrol 

Stay tuned - the snack madness continues, and still fires me up!

March 19, 2008

Bavarian Apple Torte with Prejudicial Ingredient

Looking around for a festive Easter dessert? Look no further. This marvelous apple tart is an old recipe of ours. It’s easy to make, looks fancy and needs nothing but a plate and perhaps some good quality vanilla ice cream to set it off.

To be honest, I had forgotten about this recipe until March rolled around. Each year Aunt Su and I bake each other a cake in lieu of a birthday present. She made me the most wonderful chocolate cake with mocha icing from the Barefoot Contessa. If you’re pissed off, like I am, that Baskin-Robbins and its Jamoca Almond Fudge ice cream are no longer available in this town, the cake will make you forget your huffiness for a moment while you swipe fingerfuls of icing from around the edge of the cake and blame it on your children.

Anyway, Aunt Su requested the Apple Tart recipe, and I delivered. I made two: one in the 9″ spring form pan the recipe calls for, and another in a slightly larger tart pan (pictured) to see if it would work, which it did.

I’m prejudiced against margarine, even Parkay, so I was horrified to see that this recipe calls for a good hunk of it. I resisted the urge to substitute butter, however, as I remembered the crust being so awesome. It still was. I guess I’ll have to make two more tarts to use up my other sticks of margarine.

I can never make the recipe use four whole cups of apples and still make a beautiful pattern. Two or three apples ought to be plenty for one recipe.

And sure, I suppose you could substitute some fake cream cheese for the full-fat kind, but really, wouldn’t it be a better idea to make it the right way and have a smaller piece, then take a walk after Easter dinner? Of course it would.

Bavarian Apple Torte

Crust:

1/2 cup Parkay margarine

1/3 cup sugar

1/4 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup flour

Filling:

1 8 oz package cream cheese

1/4 cup sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla

Topping:

4 cups peeled, thinly sliced Granny Smith apples

1/3 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 cup sliced pecans

Cream margarine and sugar together until light and fluffy. Blend in flour and vanilla. Spread dough on bottom and 1 inch up sides (lower if bigger pan) of 9″ springform pan. Use fingers to mush the dough up the sides of the pan.

No need to rinse beaters or bowl. Combine cream cheese and sugar until well blended. Mix in egg and vanilla and pour into pan. Spread evenly.

Mix cinnamon and sugar and toss with apples. Spoon (or arrange festively) over filling and sprinkle with nuts.

Bake for 10 minutes at 450, reduce heat to 400 and bake 25 minutes. Cool a little and loosen from pan, chill.

Serve chilled or room temperature.

The picture above is of the Bavarian apple torte just before I put it in the oven. I forgot to take a picture after it came out and then it was gone.

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Two years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: A Different Kind Of Birthday 

March 5, 2008

Why Not Be A Tiny Cocktail Sausage?

Why be a tiny cocktail sausage when you can be a mighty weiner?

– question pose by Naveed Ozcan in my spam folder

I’ll tell you why not. The world is full of mighty weiners, and we don’t need any more. However, there’s a definite shortage of tiny cocktail sausages. Fortunately, Naveed’s spam reminded me that I have the most delicious recipe for tiny cocktail sausages ever, and they’re ridiculously easy!

My Mom’s Slurpy Good Cocktail Sausages

1 pound mild sausage

(roll this into small balls and bake 15 minutes at 350)

Mix together:

1/2 cup ketchup

1/2 cup white wine vinegar

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 tablespoon soy sauce

1/4 teaspoon ginger*

Dump the meatballs in the mix and marinate 24 hours. (Can freeze at this point.) Heat before serving. A chafing dish, toothpicks and plenty of napkins are good accompaniments.

* my recipe is blurry here and says gin– I’m assuming it means ground ginger since we started making these in the 70’s when fresh ginger was unheard of, and 1/4 teaspoon of gin would be useless.

If y’all beg me, I’ll share her equally yummy (and groovy) recipe for olive tarts. Boy, the appetizers of the 70’s rocked!

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Why do the people in my spam folder who are not selling enlargement products want to know if I sell wheelbarrows? Is there a sexual connotation to a wheelbarrow that I’m missing? Is it the new drug of choice among today’s partying people? Or do I just seem like I have time to sell garden products on the side?

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One year ago in My Tiny Kingdom: The Boulder On My Shoulder

February 21, 2008

Clean Birds and Picky Gourmands

I heard quite a bit of splashing coming from Porter’s bathroom yesterday, long after the boys had left for school. Investigation revealed a pissed off Texas Ranger in the potty.

It turned out that Porter was in the midst of giving him a morning bath when his carpool came. He took my command, “Drop everything and come on immediately!” literally. A heart-to-heart followed, in which I emphasized that parakeets are not renowned for their swimming abilities, although by my calculations Texas Ranger was treading water for over an hour.
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Last night I watched as Drew and Finn split a single broccoli floret between them. It wasn’t done willingly, but only to get dessert. Finn chopped the tiny stem into flat pills and swallowed them one by one with gulps of milk. Drew nibbled the blossoms off the tree.

It’s hard to believe these are the same boys who last weekend were begging for marinated olives, “You know, like we had at that Greek restaurant in New York,” Finn said.

I don’t understand boys who swoon over mussels and artichokes and request marinated olives, yet sneer at broccoli and chicken. I ignored their contrariness, however, and dug up a few recipes on the Web, combined them, and created my own.

Anne Glamore’s Marinated Olives

Mix a few sprigs of fresh rosemary, fresh thyme, fresh oregano, a couple of bay leaves, 3 or 4 smashed cloves of garlic, a couple of strips of orange rind, a tablespoon of whole peppercorns and a teaspoon of hot pepper flakes (red pepper flakes)* in a glass or plastic bowl. Add a jar or two of unpitted green and black olives.** Add enough extra virgin olive oil and wine vinegar to cover in a ratio of about 5 parts oil to 1 part vinegar.*** Shake or stir. Label “broccoli” and put in the refrigerator for 2 days.

Bring to room temperature and use a slotted spoon to transfer to a beautiful bowl. Serve.

* Increase or decrease flakes and peppercorns according to your desired heat level

** I used kalamata olives for the black, and found green unpitted olives at Publix

*** You may want to reduce the vinegar further; this was still quite tangy

I was able to re-use the marinade with no ill effects.

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Two years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: Just Breathe

October 9, 2007

Food, Glorious Food

Last time I posted a week’s worth of easy, family-friendly recipes, the post was so popular you’d have thought I had pictures of a shirtless Brad Pitt on here.

So again, I have several meals that we would eat in the course of a week. The idea is to use Sunday afternoon to plan out what you’re going to eat each night, and make one big shopping run that day. If you’re really on the ball, you can make Sunday and Monday’s meal on Sunday, or do some prep work for other meals, and you’ll really feel good about yourself if you’re an anal-retentive gourmet like me.

(Full disclosure: I generally do have to run back to the store for more milk and fruit in the middle of the week, but at least I’m not killing myself thinking up something to feed everyone.)

I have four new recipes this week, or you can look at the recipes from last time and see if anything looks good.

1. Oven Fried Catfish

I haven’t posted any seafood recipes yet, and we eat a lot of seafood. My guys love this, and it’s simple to make, although you should take off your jewelry before you dip the fish so your rings don’t get gooey. If your children are weird about fish (one of mine was for a while) you can call this “chicken that swims.”

1 cup buttermilk
4 (6-ounce) catfish fillets (I use 5)
2 1/2 teaspoons Creole seasoning (I use Zatarain’s, found in the spice section)
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 cups cornflakes cereal, crushed (Cuisinart)
Vegetable cooking spray

Place buttermilk in a large zip-top plastic freezer bag;
add catfish, turning to coat. Seal and chill 20
minutes, turning once.

Remove
catfish fillets from buttermilk, discarding buttermilk. Sprinkle
catfish fillets evenly with 2 1/2 teaspoons Creole seasoning
and 1/2 teaspoon salt. (I sprinkle mine much more liberally with salt and Creole seasoning because we like spicy!)

Place 3 cups crushed cornflakes in a shallow dish. Dredge catfish fillets in cornflakes, pressing cornflakes gently onto each fillet. Place fillets on a rack coated with cooking spray in a roasting pan.

Bake catfish fillets at 425° for 30 to 35 minutes or until fish flakes with a fork.

No kidding, it tastes like chicken! Serve with a salad or some broccoli sauteed with garlic and potatoes au gratin out of a box. Score!!

2.Chicken Fricassee with Orzo

Everyone loves this. The dish might even be healthy if you stick to the amounts listed because I think I got this from Cooking Light years ago. Of course, the sauce is better if you add a touch more cream and melt a little butter in it before serving, and don’t skimp on the salt and pepper! I always forget the parsley and no one has died yet. (If you like to brine your meat before cooking, this is a great recipe to do it with.)

(4-ounce) skinned, boned chicken breast halves

1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
2 teaspoons butter or stick margarine
3/4 cup chopped green onions
1/2 cup diced carrot
1/2 cup diced ham
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth
1/2 cup Chardonnay or other dry white wine
1/3 cup whipping cream
3 cups hot cooked orzo (about 1 1/2 cups uncooked rice-shaped pasta)
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

Sprinkle chicken with salt and pepper. Melt butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add chicken; cook 3 minutes on each side or until browned. Remove chicken from pan.

Add onions, carrot, ham, and garlic to pan; sauté 4 minutes or until lightly browned. Stir in broth and wine, scraping to loosen browned bits. Return chicken to pan; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 10 minutes or until chicken is done. Remove chicken from pan with a slotted spoon; keep warm. Add whipping cream; cook, uncovered, over medium heat 8 minutes. Spoon 3/4 cup orzo onto each of 4 plates. Top each with 1 chicken breast half, 1/3 cup sauce, and 1 tablespoon parsley.

(I generally cut the breasts into strips on the diagonal before setting them on the orzo, and 3 big breasts will usually feed our famished family of five.)

3. Fettucini With Roasted Red Bell Peppers and Bacon

I haven’t worked on this recipe project long, but I’ve discovered that our family eats the equivalent of a whole pig approximately every two weeks. I looked into buying a couple of hogs as a cost-saving measure, but all I found on eBay were a bunch of Harleys. Too bad, because with milk at over $4 a gallon and the grass in our yard sadly unmown, a dairy cow and some pigs would be nice additions to Bingo 3 (thriving, surprisingly), Texas Ranger (still won’t perch on Drew’s shoulder while he reads Harry Potter) and Elvis (still From Hell).

Here piggy! Nice yard for YOU!

I’m Texas Ranger. Don’t screw with me.

I am evil spawn of Satan, in disconcertingly precious furry package.

The fettucini recipe will be yet another setback for kosher readers, unless turkey bacon is acceptable. This would also be good with prosciutto or pancetta instead of the bacon, not as a kosher alternative, but as good eating.

Actually, this recipe proves the point that you can mix bacon and pasta with just about anything and call it dinner. This dish is nothing more than Bowties with Peas and Prosciutto in a tuxedo.

1 bottle roasted red peppers, drained (located by the olives)
2 slices of bacon, chopped (kidding! we use 5)
1 sliced onion
3 cloves of garlic, minced
1 cup frozen peas, thawed
1/4 cup chicken broth
8 oz of cooked fettucini
2 T grated Paremesan
salt & pepper

Cut the peppers into strips. Cook the bacon in a big skillet until crisp. (Okay– I do drain all but a little of the grease here– I have limits). Add onion and garlic and saute a minute. Add peppers, peas and broth and simmer a minute. Stir in pasta, cheese, salt and pepper. I add a little bit more of everything and use almost 16 oz of pasta for our family. You’re gonna want more Parmesan!

4. Jack-O’-Lantern Pie

I am not proud of this recipe
at ALL from a culinary standpoint. But when it’s October, the Voice of Reason and I haul out this
little gem to prove we aren’t complete grinches. I cook it solely for the boys to make up for the fact that I didn’t sit on the floor and play Candyland with them nearly enough when they were small. This isn’t the type of dish you make to impress your husband; this is something you make to cure mommy-guilt. When dinner’s over, you eat the leftover Chicken Fricassee from yesterday for your dinner.

I included all the decorating instructions about the egg whites and sticking the cheese in the eye holes and so forth, but unless your kids are really charged up about helping you, the pie crust is going to be orange-ish anyway, so I forget the part about the egg, and I just throw the cheese on top of the meat before I put the top crust on.

1 pound ground beef

1 medium onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, pressed
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/4 cup ketchup
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce (I use tons more)
1 (15-ounce) package refrigerated piecrusts
1 tablespoon prepared mustard (I take this to mean French’s)
3 cups (12 ounces) shredded Monterey Jack cheese, divided (Any ole cheese will do)
2 tablespoons water
1 large egg
Red and yellow liquid food coloring

Cook first 5 ingredients in a large skillet over medium-high heat, stirring until beef crumbles and is no longer pink; drain. Stir in ketchup and Worcestershire sauce; cool.

Unfold 1 piecrust, and place on a lightly greased baking sheet. Spread mustard evenly over crust. (Leave a 2 inch border) Stir together meat mixture and 2 cups cheese; spoon onto center of crust, leaving a 2-inch border.

Unfold remaining piecrust, and cut out a jack-o’-lantern face, reserving pastry cutouts to use as a stem. Place crust over meat mixture; crimp edges of crust, and fold under. Place stem on top of jack-o’-lantern face.

Whisk together 2 tablespoons water, egg, and 1 drop each of red and yellow food coloring; brush over crust if you have time for this step.

Bake at 425° for 20 minutes; remove from oven, and serve, (OR and brush again with egg mixture. Fill eyes, nose, and mouth with remaining 1 cup cheese. Bake 5 to 10 more minutes or until golden brown.)

Jack O’ Lantern Pie ready to bake

Jack O’ Lantern Pie developed blemishes while in oven.

And for dessert? Cheesecake!

I’m posting this as part of Works For Me Wednesday over at Rocks in my Dryer. Go check out the other great tips there!

Two years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: Stinkers